It makes sense to give anything - including money - with the true spirit of love.
"How much money should I give to others?" is a question I'm always wrestling with, and since I know it's not an easy one for most people, I thought I would address it here today.
Knowing that my attitude toward giving is influenced by my father's attitude, I always have to include some input about him when I'm struggling with this subject.
My father was a generous man, and he tried to instill into me the need to give money away. He had his list of charities and was very conscientious about sending them donations. At the same time he would worry about not having enough money, so I got the impression that his gift-giving was not really from the heart but from a sense of obligation. It was one of those things that had to be done as part of his salvation. Though it gave him satisfaction, it was surrounded by anxiety.
With family members, he could be very generous but his gifts would often be accompanied by a mild expectation of getting something in return. On occasion he would openly complain about having to give to organizations that he didn't really like but felt obligated to support. Having himself been brought up with a noblesse oblige attitude, he tried his best to pass a similar attitude down to me.
In my early years I had openly rebelled against my father's generous attitude since I lumped it together with all the other "money stuff" which created in me a feeling of anxiety. But as I got older and developed my own philosophy about money, I learned that giving is a very important part of one's life.
I recognized money as energy and knew that it had to flow in order to create prosperity. Giving is an essential part of that flow, and I strongly believed "what goes around, comes around."
However, knowing this didn't make it any easier for me to give. As I reflect on it now, I think I inherited my father's anxiety about not having enough money because my first instinct was to try to reduce the amount of any gift I was considering.
I think part of me felt helpless that I couldn't give more. My father was able to give away more money than I could, and I equated that with what I believed to be his success with making money. When I found I didn't have much money to give away, I let that feeling of lack undermine my will to give any money away.
Then one day I was forced to reassess my giving when my younger sister turned to me for help after she was left stranded with six children under six and no job and no financial support. At first I was afraid to help her because I thought I would be overwhelmed by her obligations. At the time she was feeling very needy and victimized. I explained to her that I didn't have much money to give her but that I was willing to counsel her as best I could. I told her I believed she could learn to manage for herself if she had the will to do it.
Fortunately, she accepted the challenge, and in the following years as I watched my sister go from a nurse's aid to a full-fledged nurse and simultaneously bring up her children so that two of them are now in college and the others are getting ready to go, I learned how giving money in appropriate amounts can be a wonderful catalyst to anyone -- but that its worth was not so much in its monetary value as in its spiritual value. The small gifts we gave to my sister were votes of confidence in her ability to make it, and as such they showed our love for her and gave her the confidence she needed to continue forward.
Since this experience, I have taken my gift-giving much more seriously. Often when I'd look at my sister's needs, I would see a bottomless pit. However, before letting my emotions get carried away, I would analyze my financial picture and determine just how much I could afford to give and then I would give it to the specific thing that my sister felt was a top priority. I learned to realize that it was not the amount of the gift that was important but the intention with which I gave it. If my intention was pure, I felt I was in the flow not only of my money energy but of God's energy. It was being in that flow that gave me my feeling of prosperity.
Deepak Chopra says a good way to put the Law of Giving into action is to decide to give something to anyone you come in contact with. The gift doesn't have to be money or a material thing. It could be a flower, a compliment or a prayer.
If it happens to be money, give it with the true spirit of love.
Fred Brown, personal financial consultant, is the author of the recently published book, Money and Spirit, published by A.R.E. Press. The book can be ordered directly by telephone at 1-800-723-1112. To contact him on line, use 103111,3337@compuserve.com or telephone (505) 466-2436.