An Introduction to Loving Kindnessfrom Guided Meditation, Explorations and Healingsby Stephen Levine
Blueprint for a meditation - one that promotes the compassion of the heart.
AN EXPLORATION OF THE HEART
...By cultivating loving kindness in that aspect of mind that usually lives life as an afterthought, we change the context of our existence. We begin to live directly. We awaken. [The meditation that follows] uses the conceptual, word-oriented mindscape in perhaps its most skillful manner. It turns a hindrance into an ally. The difference between receiving thought in a merciful awareness and being lost in thinking is the difference between liberation and bondage. Loving kindness deepens the responsive while softening the reactive. Loving kindness is not unique in its ability to be cultivated. We can cultivate any mental quality. Most of us have intensified our fear and anger by holding so often to the contents of the mind as being all we are. Practice indeed perfects, and we have perfected our fear to a frightening degree. Practicing envy or anger cultivates the re-arising of indignation and resentment. Practicing loving kindness encourages the recurrence of mercy and awareness and the letting go of the hindrances to the heart -- the self-interest, the fear, the separatism, the judgment, which limit our direct participation in the mystery. In the acquired mind there floats a thought-bubble called "me" and a thought-bubble called "you," but in reality there is just a hum of being, a suchness. And we think we can judge the difference. But thinking is like that! To the judging mind, to the unloving prosecutor, all, including ourselves, is "other," and to the degree it judges the other it will judge itself. Herein lies the healing genius of Jesus' statement, "Judge not lest you be judged." Mercy is the opposite of judgment. It is a heartful opening rather than a mindless closing. It affirms a sense of the appropriate. Mercy is the essence of responsibility, a broad firmament from which to respond as opposed to the narrow ledge of life-limiting reaction. To re-act is to act out, again and again, our inner pain with the same old suffering. Mercy unites; judgment separates. Mercy is the voice of the unitive, of our "natural goodness." Judgment is the cold wind in the abyss between the heart and the mind. Mercy does not judge its own absence. It is open even to our closedness. Judgment regards everything with an equal mercilessness. Judgment wounds; mercy heals. Mercy is defined by some as pity, but pity is born of fear -- it wishes not to experience the pain of another or of oneself. When we touch pain with fear, that is pity. When we fear our own pain, that is self-pity. But when we touch pain with love -- that is mercy. Mercy is a blessing. Pity is a hindrance. We learn to be loving by watching how unloving we are. Recognizing the painful characteristics of fear and anger, and experiencing the unbearable closedness in the mind and body, we observe how our natural spaciousness is obscured. Investigating areas of resentment and guilt and that place of separation from others and our deepest self, we sense the "rightness" of the practice [of watching]. We begin the meditation by sending care for our own well-being directly to ourselves using such words as "May I be happy," "May I be free of suffering." At first the words may seem rather mechanical . . . just words. These words may at first be met by a long-established mercilessness, by feelings of not-enoughness and unworthiness: "Oh this is so self-indulgent; what a cop-out!" When we first attempt to bring love to ourselves, the idea that we don't deserve it often becomes quite noticeable. The ordinary grief may come up with various arguments to dissuade us from going deeper. Fear distracts the investigation, the letting go, the healing peace. These arguments arise from conditionings most precious to watch. They alert us to much of what is blinding us to the perfection, to the scintillation of this moment. It is attachment to such dense arisings that dulls us to our own beauty, [that] attempts to convince us we're not worthy. That we are incapable of "lightenment." That we are fractured beings who are going to stay that way forever. These pained thoughts have been encouraged and repeatedly cultivated. Now we are cultivating something to displace this pain. We are allowing a much more fruitful form of consciousness than our negative distortions will admit. The nature of these positive qualities is such that they naturally replace less wholesome energies all by themselves. A means to developing loving kindness toward oneself is to think of one's good qualities, to think kindly of oneself. We've worked with people who have said, "I have no good qualities. There is really not much that is lovable about me at all." And we say, "That must be incredibly painful to feel like that, so unloved and unlovable." "Yeah, it feels really awful not to be able to love anyone, even myself, even a little." "There must be millions of people who feel like that." "Those poor bastards. It is terrible for someone to feel like that. They're so lonely, so cut off."
"Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could help them." "Oh God, yes. It's too much to bear! I wish someone could help them." This incredible compassion for the human condition comes pouring through them. They talk so lovingly about their condition when it occurs in another and through it uncover a care for the unloved which was previously unnoticed under all the fearful self-negation. They now have recognized someone in need and that someone just turns out to be themselves. And they direct feelings of care and kindness to those parts of themselves that wish so to be whole. Buddha said, "You could look the whole world over and not find another being more deserving of love than yourself." And this is exactly how the meditation is done. We focus a concentrated love on this being who is so deprived and so deserving of love. Then we radiate this loving energy, this concern for the well-being of others, out to all sentient beings everywhere. When I first began doing this practice, if I found myself agitated in disagreement with someone, I would begin to send loving kindness not so much to them, as at them. I thought I would "cool them out," thinking "what a good meditator I am." But I was angry. It was really my own suffering I needed to confront. I was the one who needed the loving kindness. And in time, I learned that I had to generate love for myself first before I could open to another. To send loving kindness at another with whom I was angry was an ancient superiority trip which just created more separation. I wasn't doing them any favor. My action had the sour aftertaste of spiritual one-upmanship -- using love and spirituality to suppress another and see them as inferior. Domination and game-playing. But as I made room in my heart for me, I gradually found the ability to relate to my anger and frustration without being threatened by it. And by accepting it as is, I could, at times, enter it with a merciful awareness capable of dissolving the glue of the pained self-image that holds our suffering together. And perhaps the other person too was allowed a bit more space to let go of their anger. To send love to another, we must first be in our heart. The power of loving kindness is so great that when we concentratedly project it out to others, they often can feel it. It is a subtle but tangible energy which can be consciously directed -- like awareness in the heart, or the sun through a magnifying glass, to a shimmering point of light. As the practice continues, moments of great openness are experienced and moments of considerable closedness. The irony of the opening heart is that the farther it opens, the farther it has to go to close. Thus when the opening heart closes, one feels as though they have never been so closed before. But the meditation practice continually seeks new and deeper levels of learning in order to keep the heart open -- even open to the heart being closed. Able to touch the unloving with loving kindness. It is the healing within healing. Many have said that they would like to be more loving. They complain that, if they are to be "completely honest," their hearts aren't open more than a few moments a day --- and that is a good day already! We are so merciless with ourselves. Any amount of love in this life of forgetfulness and violence is a miracle. Any amount love calling for healing and peace in this world is true grace. A few moments of peace, of loving kindness, is a triumph over fear and old limitations. With all our imagined unworthiness and fear, with all our doubts and desires, it is hard to be loving all the time. But it is harder not to be loving. As an example of the power of the heart to take us beyond the separativeness of the mind, we offer these meditation practices on loving kindness. It is a fundamental practice for opening to ourselves, to our loved ones, to this world of suffering and joy in which we live. It is a meditation which, if experimented with for fifteen minutes a day for a few weeks, has the potential for expanding our lives and broadening our sense of play in the fields of the spirit. Many have used it regularly for years. Loving kindness allows one to draw the mind concentratedly into the heart. As the attention gradually gathers, the words softly repeated become synchronized with each inhalation and each exhalation. They begin to ride on the breath in a gentle perseverance that clears the path toward the heart. ...these words become one's own as one takes the process within. Loving kindness, like mindfulness meditation, is a foundation practice. A lifetime's work. A lifetime's play.
Excerpted with permission from Guided Meditations, Explorations and Healings by Stephen Levine, copyright © 1991 by Stephen Levine. An Anchor Book published by Doubleday, a division of Bantam Doubleday Dell Publishing Group, Inc.To continue the work begun by Stephen and Ondrea Levine, they have created Warm Rock Tapes to share their guided meditations and talks. Most of the meditations in the book Guided Meditations, Explorations and Healings are available on audio cassette. For a catalog, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 108, Chamisal, NM 87521. Stephen Levine is also the author of A Gradual Awakening and Healing into Life and Death. |