Ask Louise
Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical teacher and bestselling author of nine
books including You can Heal Your Life and The Power Is Within
You. She has assisted thousands of people in discovering and using
the full potential of their own creative powers for personal growth and
self-healing. Louise's works have been translated into over 20 different
languages throughout the world.
Dear Louise,
I am a man in my twenties who grew up in a very old-fashioned family. Not
only was I supposed to respect my elders, but I was expected to give an
inordinate amount of respect to those younger than I was — especially
girls. I was forced to be polite to my younger sister even though she was
extremely aggressive, a liar and a tattletale. No matter what happened,
she would run to Mommy and Daddy, saying that it was my fault.
To this day, I am very leery of women. I just don't trust them. I have
the feeling that even when they appear to like me, they are going to turn
their backs on me and cause me trouble. I also have resentment feelings
toward my parents for spoiling my sister and for not recognizing how she
would entrap me with her devious ways.
I don't want to have a lifelong problem with the opposite sex, so how can
I overcome my negative feelings?
J.H., Boise, ID
Dear J.H.,
I am glad you are addressing this issue while you are still young; you
won't have to carry it for too long. As you recognize where the problem
came from, you can begin to release it. People who harbor resentment for
a long time can contribute to illnesses such as cancer and tumors, and you
certainly don't want to do that.
There was a reason why you chose to be born in this particular family this
time around. Your lesson (like all of ours) was to rise above your early
upbringing. I would suggest you begin with some forgiveness work toward
both your parents and your sister. If you cannot do this by yourself,
then get some counseling. It is vital that you work through this. Every
time you see another woman, keep saying to yourself, THIS IS NOT MY
SISTER. I ONLY ATTRACT TO MYSELF SINCERE, HONEST, LOVING WOMEN. This
will be a powerful affirmation for you to work with. There are wonderful
women out there. Allow yourself to bring them into your world.
Dear Louise,
I hope you can help me out of this difficult situation. I'm at my wit's
end. Recently, I broke up with my fiance who, I discovered almost too
late, was abusive both to women and defenseless animals. Although I am
aware that he has other issues that he has not even begun to address (he's
in his fifties, yet will break out in tears and say that all he wants is
for his mother to approve of him "just one time"), his issues are now
affecting me even though I am no longer in his life.
You see, before we broke up, we purchased a very expensive home together
that we were planning to move into after our wedding. This man (who is a
millionaire) is now threatening to sue me. He had his lawyer send me a
letter stating that if I don't sign a quit-claim deed, he will take me to
court. Now, I am certainly willing to sign this deed if I am also taken
off the loan, but he says that doing so would mean he'd have to refinance
the house and that it would be too expensive. Louise, I don't want to be
on this loan for the next 30 years. It will show up every time I apply
for credit, and it will also tie me to this person for the rest of my
life.
On the one hand, I don't want to be a victim, but neither do I want to
sign up for a year of chaos. (I can't afford the expense or the emotional
ramifications of a year-long battle.) I just do't know what to do. What
do you think?
L.J., Toronto, Canada
Dear L.J.,
I do not feel that this is the first time you have been taken advanatage
of. And this is a pattern that must be addressed. This is also an
excellent lesson that you do not tie yourself up legally before you are
married. I suggest you get the book What Every Woman Needs To Know Before
(And After) She Gets Involved With Men And Money, by Judge Lois G. Forer.
On the surface,, this looks like a situation where there is no way out,
and if you buy into that outlook, you will indeed be stuck. However, we
know that the universe always responds to our inner beliefs and has the
intelligence and ability to work out all problems. So, I suggest you
begin to use this affirmation at least 500 times a day: I AM SAFE AND ALL
IS WELL IN MY WORLD! Turn your thinking around, and the situation will
change. Keep me posted.
Dear Louise,
I don't know who else to turn to with this problem. I am a man in my late
forties who was raised in a dysfunctional family like so many other people
today. Although I was not physically abused, I was emotionally abused by
parents who always made me feel unworthy. To deal with this problem, I
asked God to make me sick. I needed an excuse so that my parents would
not expect so much from me.
Well, unfortunately, God answered my prayers, and I have been experiencing
physical problems all through my adult life. I have gone to countless
doctors, but they can never find anything wrong with me, although I always
feel terrible. I know in my heart that I have "created" my physical
ailments, but I am at a loss as to how to "uncreate" them. Are there any
affirmations that you can give me? Do you think there is hope for me?
S.K., Santa Fe, NM
Dear S.K.,
I FORGIVE MY PARENTS AND I ALLOW MYSELF TO BE VIBRANTLY HEALTHY. Remind yourself daily that you are not living at home and you are willing to grow
up. Sit in front of the mirror and have a good talk with yourself. You
might say something like this: "I realize that I created illness in the
past to take the pressure off me. Today is a new time and a new moment,
and I now release the old pattern of illness and allow myself to be well
and enjoy life."
I wonder if you continue the illness pattern because of guilt for having
created it in the first place. Or, maybe you want to assure your parents
that your illness was really real. Whatever the reason, let it go! Only
you can do this — and yes, you can do it. Drop the word "hope"; that only
means you think you are hopeless. Next time you feel lousy, say, "It's
only a pattern, and I'm letting it go."
For a free catalog of books, audios, videos, and other products by Louise Hay and other Hay House authors, please call (800) 654-5126 or fax: (800) 650-5115. If you would like Louise to answer your letter in this publication, address your letter to: Dear Louise Column, c/o Hay House, Inc., P.O. Box 5100, Carlsbad, CA 92018-5100. Please visit the Hay House Website at: http://www.hayhouse.com. (Letters used in this column may be edited for length and clarity.)
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