Swami Beyondananda
Dear Swami:
As an olfactorally-sensitive individual, I sometimes have problems
with smells that don't affect other people. Unfortunately, my
biggest problem right now is under my own roof. I love my live-in
boyfriend, but he must be some kind of throwback to the '60s because
he insists on burning this stinky incense all over the house.
When I protest that the smell is irritating me, he shrugs and
tells me it's not his problem. This makes me absolutely furious.
But the more angry I get, the more indifferent he becomes. Isn't
there anything I can do to help this otherwise decent guy become
more sensitive in this regard?
Hedforda Hills
Jamaica, New York
Dear Hedforda:
I can relate to your problem because I too have olfactory sensitivity
-- probably due to all those ol' factories that spewed smoke back
in Muskogee when I was a kid. I sense you are incensed not just
by the incense, but by his insensitivity to how much the incense
incenses you. While an assault on the senses like the one you
describe is not a felony, it is definitely a missed-demeanor.
(In other words, the offender usually fails to notice the pained
expression on the victim's face.) That is why some forward-thinking
communities are beginning to offer scentsitivity training for
"inscentsitives" like your boyfriend. And the first
principle of sensory scentsitivity is that it is a form of oppression
to impose an overpowering smell onto others without their permission.
In other words, all public smells must be conscentual. And I totally
agree with this common scents approach.
Dear Swami:
What's this that I hear about a minister who called for a ban
on playing our National Anthem? Did I hear right, or was it one
of those internet rumors?
José Cañusi
Tenafly, New Jersey
Dear José:
Yes, you heard right. According to a Natural Inquirer article
I have right here, the Rev. Tim Taylor, head of the well-known
"Mortal Majority," has called on Americans to boycott
the Star-Spangled Banner because of what he called "suggestive
and objectionable" lyrics. The Reverend apparently objected
to "the ram parts we watched" line in the song. "We
have no business watching ram parts," said Rev. Tayshin,
"unless we are directly in the business of raising sheep.
And even then, these ram parts should not be talked about, let
alone sung about. We should leave ram parts to the sheep, lest
we encourage in our children the most unspeakable perversions."
It also says here that the Rev. Tayshin offered America the
Beautiful as an alternative national anthem -- provided they
change that "fruited plain" line.
Swami Speaks Out on Right and Wrong
Dear Swami:
Can two wrongs ever make a right?
Anna Trossity
Bedford Falls, New York
Dear Anna:
We have often heard that "two wrongs can never make a right,"
but I beg to differ. G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North prove that
two wrongs can indeed make a Right. But it is even more complicated
than that, because the Right is made up of many, many wrongs.
This explains the bumper sticker I saw recently which said, "If
Rush is Right, I'll take what's left." But even if the Right
is wrong, this doesn't necessarily make the Left right. The Left
may be right in thinking there are wrongs to right, but these
wrongs cannot be righted simply by wronging the Right.
Psychologically speaking, the Right is afraid of being left --
and the Left is afraid of being right. I will explain. Many people
on the Right are moralists at heart who deep down believe that
God will judge or forsake them if they stray from the path. In
other words, unless they are right, they will be left. And over
on the Left, being left is a sign of being right. That is because
the Left considers the electorate so hopelessly brainwashed that
if voters suddenly decided the Left was right, this would really
mean the Left was wrong. And so the Left doesn't feel right unless
it is left. This is how the Right got right and the Left got left.
Meanwhile, these two groups are attacking each other left and
right. "I'm right!" says the Right. "No, I'm right!"
says the Left. And sadly, this is the level of our political discourse
-- a left and a right, and a right and a left, and the winner
is the last one to proclaim, "I'm right!" And this,
my children, is what the Catholics call "Last rights."
Swami's Dictionary
Dear Swami:
As a psychologist, I often run across people who are willing
to sacrifice being happy for being right. Is there a word for
this state of mind?
Kay Studdie
Round Rock, Texas
Dear Kay:
Absolutely. It is called smartyrdom.
Copyright 1997 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights reserved.
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