by Guy Spiro
from the publisher ofThe Monthly Aspectarian

"It's better to give than to receive." I sure didn't believe it. Receiving seemed to me to be a heck of a lot better than giving. Receiving meant having more and giving meant having less. I was never going to be a math major but as a child I had no trouble adding that one up. Receiving = More. Giving = Less. It seemed simple to me. In fact, I thought receiving was such a dandy thing that I wasn't adverse to a little taking once in a while as well — but that is for a different column.

Like many of these kinds of teachings, "It's better to give than to receive" only becomes clear with a more mature and sometimes even metaphysical understanding. Being told that it is morally better to give than to receive means very little to a youngster and it seems that many adults mouth the saying, not believing it themselves.

In the first place, giving is better than receiving because giving puts you in the flow. As a person gives — with a willing heart — they are serving as a conduit for the universal givingness. Giving grudgingly out of a sense of duty or a feeling of being coerced —or worse, with a cynical motive of gain — will not work.

The cosmos gives unceasingly and indiscriminately. All that is, is a gift and as we give, we are participants with the Is. More practically, being in givingness is receiving because the good cannot flow through you without bringing good to you. This is at the core of the concept of tithing and needs to be understood by more people.

In the second place, giving is better than receiving because it feels good. Test it for yourself if you don't believe me. Maybe the guy with the cardboard sign at the freeway exit will spend the dollar I give him on alcohol and maybe he really will feed his kids with it. That is up to him. But I know that I feel better for giving it to him. Try giving time to a child or attention to the lonely. Let that car into your lane with a smile and a wave instead of a scowl and a single digit salute. See if it doesn't feel better. This is one of our basic choices in life. To live with a giving attitude or to live with a grasping and selfish one.

The first will bring more happiness while the other... Well, it's like another saying: Virtue is its own reward. No, really, it is.

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