The easiest way to become skilled in any field is to learn it from an expert. Even when the "skill" is having a deeper relationship with God, experts can provide us with valuable guidance and methods.

Therefore, I set out on a mission to ask forty of the best known spiritual seekers in the world how they connected with the sacred in their daily lives. Among the people I interviewed were the Dalai Lama, Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Ram Dass, Marianne Williamson, Pat Boone, Deepak Chopra, and even Mother Teresa before she died. Although there was a great variety of answers to the questions I asked each of them, I noticed that just about all of these notable seekers agreed on four things. When people as philosophically different as Pat Boone and the Dalai Lama can agree on anything, I figure it's time to take notice!

In my book, The Experience of God: How 40 Well Known Seekers Encounter the Sacred, you can learn the many fascinating ways seekers approach and experience God differently. Yet, I will briefly share four ideas spiritual leaders across the world seem to share in common.

1. Create a Designer God

If God's not really an irascible old man sitting in heaven, then what or who is God? Surely, the human mind can not accurately comprehend a reality as enormous as "God." Nevertheless, in order to have a relationship to a greater reality, almost all the people I interviewed said it's important to have some concept that we can relate to. Ram Dass, the former Harvard professor turned spiritual leader, suggested this approach for relating to God: "One strategy you might use is to think of God as an imaginary playmate, and imbue that playmate with all of the qualities you would like God to have -- infinitely wise, funny, loving, compassionate, etc. Then, just hang out with your imaginary playmate the same way a child does. Talk with your playmate, and just be with it as if it's always there with you. Having a friend with all these wonderful qualities will make you want to move closer to it by changing your own qualities."

At first glance, creating God in our image may seem like a backwards thing to do. But the fact is, we do this all the time. It's common for people to project onto "God" all kinds of negative traits. When children die of disease or a hurricane kills people, we call it an act of God. Yet since none of us can know for sure what God does or doesn't do, it makes sense to give God the benefit of the doubt. Joan Borysenko, the author of Minding the Body, Mending the Mind put it this way: "In order to deepen my connection with God, I needed an understanding that God was complete and perfect love. A forgiving God. After all, who wants a relationship with a bogeyman or a cosmic Peeping Tom?"

2. Thou Shall Know Where God Is Not

On a church bulletin board I once saw a note that said, "If you don't feel close to God, guess who moved?" In order to hit a target, it's not necessary to know exactly where it is. One need only know all the places it is not. Many people in Western society have realized that ultimate satisfaction is not to be found in money, relationships or better gadgets. The spiritual seekers I interviewed frequently commented on knowing the many ways they lessen their contact with God. By being keenly aware of how they unplug themselves from their Source, they kept such behaviors to a minimum.

One "popular" way to lessen contact with God centered around the idea of having one's own inflexible agenda. Bernie Siegel, author of Love, Medicine and Miracles, said it like this: "When I stop listening to my own messages and get caught up in time and what "should" happen, and what I want to do today, then I lose it. I always mention to people that in heaven the clocks have all the hands broken off and they say one, two, three, four, who cares? On them."

The other widespread method for disconnecting from our Creator centered around the idea of "ego." Wayne Dyer, author of many bestsellers including Your Erroneous Zones, described the ego as "nothing more than our belief in our own separateness. We're trained to think we have to be bigger than, smarter than, or make more money than others. The ego constantly reminds us of how important we are. That we're right and others are wrong. When being guided by the ego, we feel separate." By being aware of how the ego can interfere with experiencing God, the people I interviewed avoided identifying solely with their ego mind.

3. What God Wants

By asking, "What do you think God wants from us?" I hoped to see if there was a unifying principle behind the variety of answers I was receiving. My thought was that if we can agree about the ultimate goal of spiritual growth, then all we need do is ponder how we can most efficiently reach that goal. While the other questions I asked elicited a great variety of responses, the answers to "What does God want from us?" were strikingly similar. Whether a person was a Hindu, Jew, Christian or New Ager, there was widespread agreement as to what God "wants" from you and me. Perhaps the Dalai Lama said it best: "Those faiths which emphasize faith in and love of God have as their purpose the fulfillment of God's intentions. Seeing us all as creations of and followers of one God, they teach that we should cherish and help each other. The very purpose of faithful belief in God is to accomplish His wishes, the essence of which is to cherish, respect, love, and give service to our fellow humans. The development of love and compassion is basic, and I usually say that this is a main message of religion. When we speak of religion, we need not refer to deeper philosophical issues. Compassion is the real essence of religion."

Committed spiritual seekers are not the only people who agree about what God wants from us. People who have had near death experiences have also confirmed a single similar message. Charles Tart, a university scientist and the author of Altered States of Consciousness expressed it this way. "I'm very impressed by the answer given by people who have near death experiences regarding the purpose of human life. From their mystical rendezvous with death, the most common answer they give is that the purpose of life is to learn how to love." The talented singer and songwriter, Kenny Loggins, poetically described God in this way: "Love is the goal, love is the path, love is the lesson, love is the teacher. Only in true love can our "demons" rise up to be healed. And only by following, one by one, the fears that rise up to obscure the view of our beloved can we walk upon love's path."

4. Suffering is Grace

By reflecting on their own spiritual journeys, many of the seekers I interviewed realized that suffering had led to some of their biggest spiritual breakthroughs. Suffering can be a blessing in disguise. Mother Teresa boldly stated, "I think it's very good when people suffer. To me, that's really like the kiss of Jesus. And a sign, also, that this person has come so close to Jesus, sharing his passion."

From a spiritual perspective, suffering has a purpose behind it. It softens us, it teaches us, it opens us up to receiving God's grace. Louise Hay, the author of several books dealing with illness and healing, stated, "In my early years I had many difficult traumas, and yet I always came through them. What I often thought was the end of my life, I now see was just another learning experience." LeVar Burton, who plays Geordi in Star Trek, uses his suffering in a very precise way. He states, "Whenever I feel anxious, it's a sign to me that something is out of alignment. For instance, when my wife Stephanie does something that brings up emotion in me, I think that God as Stephanie is reminding God as LeVar where I need to grow. After many years of training myself, strong negative emotions are now a trigger for me to look at something. I think that all emotions are triggers for us to grow in our level of consciousness."

The Future of God

In modern times, we've focused on mastering the material world as a means to a better existence. Yet, if we ever hope to lessen human suffering, we'll need to focus on the best "technology" for connecting with our divine Source. Although the spiritual leaders I interviewed expressed many different beliefs and methods, the commonality of their answers can help keep us pointed in the right direction.

The Experience of God: How 40 Well-Known Seekers Encounter the Sacred is edited by Jonathan Robinson and was published by Hay House in December, 1997. It is available at all bookstores, or by calling 1-800-654-5126.

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