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Dear
Louise,
I have
never been successful in maintaining a long-term relationship with a man.
I was briefly married for three years, but have been divorced for more
than 18 years. I have dated several men and even was engaged once, but
my relationships always end. I want to be married and have a lifelong
partner. Is this simply not my destiny, or is there something I can do
to bring the love and commitment I desire from a man into my life? I am
sometimes quite lonely and feel I have messed up all my relationships.
Any insight you could give would be greatly appreciated.
A.S., Lee's Summit, MO
Dear A.S.,
Forgive your father.
Ask yourself what love was like in your family. What was the relationship
between your mother and father? Did your father abandon your mother? How
have your relationships been similar to what you saw in childhood? Usually
we create relationships that mirror the relationships we experienced in
our families. Forgive your family for not being perfect, and forgive yourself
for following old family patterns. After you've done the above, write
down your ideal scenario of happiness. Put in everything you can think
of, including a long-lasting, ideal relationship. Read your thoughts onto
a cassette tape. Have soft music playing while you tape it. End your tape
with: "I accept all of this, or something even better, with joy."
Twice a day, sit or lie down in a relaxing place and listen to this tape
- first thing in the morning and last thing at night is best.
Remember, your destiny is to follow your belief patterns. So when you
change your beliefs about relationships, then you will change your destiny.
Dear
Louise,
I
have a few questions about meditation. I would like to get my life in order.
There are important and complex decisions I need to make about my future,
but I am having trouble making them. I have also battled depression for
many years and would like to get out of its grip. I have a hard time praying
- I think I've forgotten how! Can meditation help me? I would like to do
something simple, such as concentrating on my breath. I don't have a lot
of time, so is there a way to train myself to keep my meditation sessions
short without compromising my concentration? Thank you.
K.J., Boston, MA
Dear
K.J.,
Have you tried hypnotherapy or acupuncture? They have both been proven
effective in helping people overcome chronic depression. Also, please
get every bit of sugar out of your diet, as sugar aggravates depression.
Yes, meditation will surely help. Your mind and body need to relax and
feel at peace. In my opinion, short meditations are the best, especially
when you are first starting. Sit quietly. Breathe in through your nose.
Feel the air expand inside of you. Hold for several seconds, and then
gently and slowly release the breath through your lips. Repeat three times.
Then merely count your breath from one to ten. One on the inhalation,
two on the exhalation. Three on the next inhalation, and so on. When you
count to ten, then begin again at one. If you lose track and count to
fifteen or twenty, just gently begin again at one. Five minutes of this
twice a day will work wonders. After a while, you may enjoy the relaxation
so much that you will want to do ten minutes.
Be gentle with yourself. Affirm: I DESERVE PEACE OF MIND, AND I CLAIM
IT NOW.
Dear
Louise,
I am a Reiki practitioner,
and at the moment I am treating a professor for lymphatic cancer. The other
night I showed him your book You Can Heal Your Life, especially the part
where you told how you healed yourself of cancer, and he did not respond
too well to it. His scientific mind could not go along with it. His reaction
was: "Where is the proof? What scientific test has been carried out
to substantiate this philosophy?"
I myself have no problem with your philosophy, having benefited from it;
however, I felt that I was backed into a corner. This man has asked me to
write to you, and here I am taking up the dare. Could you shed some light
on this matter?
M.G., Ireland
Dear
M.G.,
I am not a person who is impressed by scientific data. In my lifetime,
I have noticed that what is considered "scientific fact" at
one point, is proven "scientifically" to be false just a few
years later. This happens over and over again.
Yes, it is true that to date there is no "scientific" data for
the mind/body connection and how it influences our health. However, there
is a growing body of anecdotal evidence that says this is true - our thoughts
influence every part of our lives, including our health or lack of it.
In addition to whatever protocol your medical practitioner has you on,
do open your mind to the many other healing possibilities. Love, Medicine
& Miracles, by Dr. Bernie Siegel, an oncologist, includes numerous
case histories of people who have healed themselves of many diseases,
including cancer. Affirm: I AM OPEN TO THE TOTALITY OF HEALING POSSIBILITIES.
For a free catalog
of books, audios, videos, and other products by Louise Hay and other Hay
House authors, please call (800) 654-5126 or fax: (800) 650-5115. If
you would like Louise to answer your letter in this publication, address
your letter to: Dear Louise Column, c/o Hay House, Inc., P.O. Box 5100,
Carlsbad, CA 92018-5100. Please visit the Hay House Website at: www.hayhouse.com.
(Letters used in this column may be edited for length and clarity.) For
information on becoming a certified teacher of Louise Hay's philosophy,
call Patricia Crane at (800) 969-4584 in the U.S. and Canada, or
at (714) 969-9383 internationally.
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by Louise Hay
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