The form of success is utterly unimportant and entirely personal.

My friends' love lives are far more interesting than most movies and novels. Recently at a dinner I heard two accounts: Sam, after living with his girlfriend for three years, had recently moved into his own place. "It feels so good to have my own space again," he reported. "Merrill and I had gotten so bogged down with the issues of our relationship that I was losing touch with who I am. Now I have a sense of myself again, and I feel wonderful!"

Sitting next to Sam, Rob was also glowing; he had just fallen in love. "I never imagined that a relationship could be this fulfilling," Rob exclaimed. "Carlie and I are going deeper every day, and I feel closer to her than any woman I have been with. Each day brings us new delights in being together!"

I basked in the happiness my two friends were exuding. Each of them had found soul satisfaction through antithetical situations: Sam was diving out of relationship, and Rob was diving in. For a moment, my mind tried to judge by wondering, "Who is right?" Yet my heart, which cares less about form and more about essence, reminded me, "Each is in his perfect place on his path, proven by the benchmark of joy."

The only true measure of success is happiness. This maxim flies in the face of what we have been taught about achievement. As children, we were told that success is demonstrated by amassing wealth, power, and prestige. Yet we know many people who have such kudos, and they are miserable. As spiritual beings, our only real purpose is to be in integrity with our own truth and at peace with our own heart. The form of success is utterly unimportant and entirely personal.

A seminar participant tearfully recounted that since she was a teenager she felt inferior because she had very small breasts. As a young woman, Anna had gotten breast implants, and over time she had many problems with them, resulting in her undergoing eight corrective surgeries. During the last operation she nearly died. "I finally asked myself, 'Is there a message here?'" Anna confessed, "and I realized that my lesson is to love myself with a flat chest. So today I stand before you in public for the first time in thirty years without breast implants or falsies." The audience responded with a huge standing ovation, honoring this woman for her courage to claim her worth.

Not long after Anna's revelation I spoke to a friend who had recently gotten breast implants. "For all of my adult life I have not had breasts, but I wanted them. One morning I woke up and decided, 'This is something I really want to do for myself!' So I did. Now I really am glad I did . . . I feel much better about myself and my appearance!" As my friend spoke, I felt her delight. She, too, was true to herself.

One woman was healed through letting go of her breasts, and one found healing through adding them. Healing depends not on form, but authenticity. Each woman found harmony with her own heart's desires, and that is all that Spirit requires for any of us to be happy.

The only thing more important than what we do--is the energy we generate while doing it. Our acts are simply containers we imbue with our essence. The greatest gift we give to ourselves, others and the world, is enthusiasm. The word "enthusiasm" derives from the [Greek en Theos,] which means "possessed by God." When you are enthusiastic, you are expressing your true nature as a Godly being.

God doesn't care what you are enthusiastic about; God just cares that you are enthusiastic. One evening at a spiritual retreat, just before the participants were to retire I noticed a woman reading a magazine titled "Emergency: True Stories of Ambulance Calls. I was shocked. "Josephine," I exclaimed, "how could your read such heavy material right before going to sleep?"

"Oh, I enjoy it," she answered, "I work on a rescue squad, and this gives me some good ideas."

Josephine taught me a great lesson about passion and purpose. I would not have enjoyed reading that magazine, for it was not an energetic match to my interests. But it was a true expression of Josephine's joy, and she was in integrity with it.

When faced with the question, "What is the right action here?," the most important question to ask is, "Does this act make me feel better, or worse? Does it generate within me a sense of expansion, or contraction? Do I feel more alive and expressive of the true me, or does this deaden me and make me feel more alienated from myself?"

The only true measure of success is happiness. If it works for you, it is good. Don't waste any time trying to stuff yourself into a mold someone else created. Otherwise you might get moldy.

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Alan Cohen is the author of 14 popular inspirational books, including the award-winning A Deep Breath of Life. To order Alan's new book Happily Even After or request a free catalog of Alan's books, tapes, and seminars, write to Hay House, P.O. Box 5100, Carlsbad, CA 92018 or call 1-800-462-3013.

For info on Alan's Mastery Training in Hawaii, contact 455A Kukuna Road, Haiku, HI 96708, (800) 568-3079, email: mastery@alancohen.com. Check out Alan's web site at www.alancohen.com