The relationship that most changed my life would have to be my relationship with a band called the Grateful Dead. How does one have a relationship with a band? If you've ever met a Deadhead or a keen observer who has been to a show, you get an idea.

Mythographer Joseph Campbell--who went to only one Dead show--compared Deadheads to the ecstatic worshippers of Demeter at Eleusis, the temple of Mysteries in ancient Greece. Campbell said, "It turns something on in here [pointing to his heart]. What it turns on is life energy." This relationship is based on an exchange of energy between the band and the audience.

With their music as the tool, it has enabled me to travel into that zone of sacred space where contact is made with the Divine. It confirms my feelings that we are but tiny specks in this Universe--but that with right action and an open heart, we can be part of something very powerful, spiritual, magical and ultimately good. It has helped me through good times and bad times. It opens up my heart chakra and leads me towards the invisible. It has shown me that I have a huge capacity for joy
by Emily Kinder, Chicago

SOULMATES.com

As she sat across the table from me in the dimly lit restaurant, I tried not to look at her lips as she talked to me. I had spoken to this woman dozens of times on the phone. I had written her notes, sent her my photo in the mail, and had communicated a volume of words to her via e-mail and the Internet, but this was the first time I had seen her face to face.

Living 350 miles apart from each other, we were in a kind of surreal long distance, mostly aol friendship. Yet, there was something else about this relationship that made is special.

In my late 30s, I was about to admit to myself something that a marriage, a child and several relationships with men could not-that I longed to be with a woman. And yes, I was a little petrified, too.

So there I sat listening to my friend Katherine, all the while thinking of what our first day together was like. We had met at an Amoco station halfway between our two towns while the sun was still shining on a cool and crisp November day. We had researched the area prior to meeting there and drove to a small lakeside town with antique shops and galleries. We strolled along its street commenting on artwork, with me asking her what she liked, seeing as she was a professional artist and me a history teacher.

Our topics of conversation were much as they were when we were on the Internet or the phone. They went far beyond the weather, current events or families. One of us would mention something such as the Appalachian Trail, and we would talk about it for half an hour. A comment about a book called The Artist's Way would spur on numerous insights. The same could be said of opinions on the Presidency, the song "Evergreen," falling off our bikes as children, and what our dream cottage would look like. I felt at ease with this person. I was myself, and it felt so right.

After dinner, we returned to our cars to both get back on the road to drive three hours each to our homes. We continued to talk, but now I was thinking how I could not get back in my car without knowing more. I saw such passion and understanding in Katherine's clear blue eyes. We had not so much as even accidentally touched hands while talking or walking during our day together. My insides were screaming for me to say something, anything, as it became apparent that it was about time to say goodbye. She remarked about what a wonderful day it was. I said I couldn't say goodbye until . . . until . . . we . . . kissed. I can still see her face leaning towards mine in the moment that would change my life forever. Forever.
by Ann Wells, Internet

THE ULTIMATE LOVE

Eight years ago, I had a vivid psychic dream. In it, I saw a misty vision, and as the swirls began to dissolve, I saw two people surrounded by a green background. The image became clearer as time passed. I saw a tall man with long straight dark hair holding hands with a blond woman. He has a blue guitar on his right shoulder, and loves music. Looking closer, I see the woman is me! I am so content with this man, as if nothing else matters. The vision fades, and I wake up knowing this is the person I've been waiting for.

About a year later after this dream, I began working part time in a nightclub. One night, (on a night I was usually off) as I was getting ready to leave, a group of guys came in. My eyes immediately fell on the tall man with long dark hair. I was breathless! He invited me to sit at his table, and we talked like we'd known each other forever. He mentioned that he played guitar. It was the guy in the dream!

I was so blown away, I didn't know what to do. I was already dating someone else!

This is how Ed came into my life.

We exchanged numbers and kept in touch over the years. He was a great friend and listener, and his voice was music to my ears. We'd talk for hours, and laugh as if nothing else mattered-like in my dream. Even though we dated other people, I always longed for him. I tried to break off with my boyfriend, but he didn't want to. I was unhappy. I kept wishing I could be with Ed.

One night, I ran into Ed's Dad, nicknamed the Bear. We sat and talked for awhile, but the tone of the conversation was oddly serious. Bear told me he was not feeling well, and he asked me why didn't his son and I ever hook up. I told him that I wanted Ed but he was now dating someone else. Bear told me to never ever give up on his son. He would not let me leave the table until I promised him this. I promised.

Ten months later, Bear passed away.

I had been in an accident and lost touch with Ed for about a year and a half. I was so sick, I thought I was going to die. When you think you are dying, you think about all the things you should have done. And Regret Number One was not being with Ed.

After I recovered, I tried and tried to call him. He was never home. One day in December of 1997, I got through. I explained what happened to me. He said he had to see me, and by the end of that week, we had a date! And the fireworks went off!

We have been together for two years now, and I am deeply happy and content to the bottom of my soul. He has taught me more about friendship, love and business than anyone has in my entire life. He is always there for me no matter what happens, and he has a way of melting my Aries temper. He is my true love and travel companion. He encourages me and challenges me to be my best! My life has changed for the better in so many ways since we have been together. He was worth the wait. So this Valentine's day, I would like to say thank you to Ed for coming into my life and being with me.

For all the wonderful things you have done and brought into my life for the past seven years, I LOVE YOU!
by Traci Glon, Chicago

Everyone who knew Kapil would probably say that he changed their life. Not only was he a tremendous person… fully alive… not a sitcom addict like myself and many others. He was a hard-worker, devoted to his work, family, sports and life. He died unexpectedly on October 21, 1999 at the age of 34, leaving behind a very shocked, shaken group with lots of questions. The main question of course being "why"?

A teacher/friend consoled me and I passed the comfort on, "According to the Buddhist tradition, it is believed that when a young person dies, they are an avatar teaching the rest of us the lesson of impermanence."

This was the only way his death made any sense and his message became a "kick in the ass" to stop wasting valuable time and strive to live in and enjoy every moment of life. Thank you Kapil for enriching all our lives with your vibrance, laughter, love and lesson.

By: Margaret Brown, Chicago

Your next assignment, for the April issue, is to choose an event THAT CAUSED YOU TO CHANGE YOUR POINT OF VIEW and share it with the rest of our readers. Of course there's a deadline-we must have your story in our office before or by March 1.
Down the road, in our June edition (with a deadline of May 1) we will feature AN AFFIRMATION THAT WORKED FOR ME.

Do your best to keep your writing selections to about 400 words-subject to editing for content and length. Each person on the staff will read several entries and forward their favorite(s) to the For You - By You desk.

Mail your writing to us at P.O. Box 1342, Morton Grove, IL 60053; or fax it to 847/966-6535; or e-mail tma@lightworks.com. Be sure to add your name and location to your writing! We won't be able to communicate about your entry, and the decisions of the staff are final. If you want us to return your work, please enclose a self addressed, stamped envelope.