The Angels on Parenting
by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.

Worrying… is a negative prayer that creates self-fulfilling problems.

The angels say that our fears often interfere with the joy of parenting. While many would say that guilt and worry go hand-in-hand with being a parent, the angels beg to differ. The best form of parenting, according to the angels, involves parents holding positive expectations toward their children.

The angels' preferred attitude toward our children is always with a non-critical eye on helping them to identify and enjoy their gifts. The angels wish that we would love ourselves and our children as God loves us: unconditionally, while we lovingly look for ways to hone our traits and talents so that they can be used in service to the world.

My client, Ilona, was worried about her oldest daughter, Kim, age 15. She came to me for an angel reading about why Kim had grown sullen and distant. Ilona said, "Kim keeps pushing me away whenever I try to talk with her. Do the angels say that Kim is mad at me, or has she started to use drugs? Kim and I were so close until recently!"

"Recall, for a moment, the way that you viewed Kim during your moments of closeness," the angels replied. "You held her in the highest regard, and expected her to do the same. The mutual respect and the friendship was expected, and it therefore was your outcome.
"Think of it this way," the angels continued. "Don't you behave differently around people who obviously like you? Doesn't it bring out the best in you when you sense that someone has high regard for you?"

"Of course," Ilona answered.

"And conversely, don't you behave awkwardly around someone who seems to disapprove of you?"

"Yes, I suppose I do . . ." Ilona answered.

"Your daughter, Kim, is merely responding to your expectations," the angels said. "You took it personally when she asked for some privacy one day, and you changed how you viewed and interacted with her. This situation is compounding every day as your
negative expectations are hardening ever more."

"You mean that I'm causing Kim to behave this way?" Ilona raised an eyebrow.

"In the ultimate sense, everyone is an extension of you and is affected by your positive or negative expectations. Just as you behave differently around a positive person than you do a fearful or disapproving person, so it is with Kim.

"We know that you desire a deeper and closer relationship with your daughter. We ask you to see and feel the relationship that you desire, every time that you talk with or think about Kim. Imagine the two of you at the movies, shopping, talking, and having a wonderful mother-daughter friendship. When you slip into negative expectations, ask us to catch and correct your thoughts so they are aligned with your desires, not with your fears."

"I can do that," Ilona said.

Two weeks later, I had a follow-up session with Ilona. "It was difficult at first to remain optimistic when Kim shunned me," she said. "But I prayed for help and that seemed to give me some strength. I refused to give up, because I love my daughter so much. I just forced myself to visualize the two of us palling around like we used to. It seems to be having a somewhat positive effect on Kim. I know that I feel a little better; hopeful, I guess."

A month later, I received an excited phone call from Ilona. "You'll never guess where I just returned from!" she said breathlessly. "Kim and I went to the movies and we had a great time! It was just like I'd visualized, and she really is starting to come around and treat me as if she likes me again. She hasn't said anything mean to me in over a week now."

The angels say that our positive expectations create positive results with our children, as well as other people. On the other hand, worrying, such as Ilona's former behavior, is a negative prayer that creates self-fulfilling problems. They say that children are very sensitive and can feel when another person is fearful. The children react negatively because they feel insecure when their parents are afraid. "Guilt and fear will not make you a better parent," the angels say. "Only love, combined with prayers for Divine guidance, will give you the centeredness and clarity of mind that is necessary in mentoring young minds. Remember that children easily sense your tension, and when they feel you are worried or guilt-ridden, it interferes with their learning. Instead of focusing upon your words, they focus upon your fears. Then they learn to mimic that part of your behavior. Is that truly what you want, beloved parents?"

It's normal for a parent to feel afraid from time to time, and it's best to gently admit your honest feelings to your child instead of covering them up. After all, your child can sense how you feel. You are a role model for your child if you show him or her that you handle your emotions with prayer, by calling upon God and the angels to heal away fear, worry, or guilt.

Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. is a psychotherapist who works with the angelic realm. She is the author of "Divine Guidance," "Angel Therapy," and her newest, "Healing with the Angels Oracle Cards," which helps you to receive messages from your angels by choosing a card. Doreen gives angel workshops throughout North America. For information on her cards, books, tapes, or workshops, please visit http://www.AngelTherapy.com, or call 1-800-654-5126, ext. 0.