Dear Louise, My sister and I are nearing our fifth decade, and neither one of us has found a satisfying relationship yet. I've been divorced over four years now, and it's been only problems: money, loneliness, lack of friends, and my family living out of state. It's just been all pain, but no dates—not even for coffee. My sister and I were abandoned and abused as children. She and I are very close, but we live across the country from each other. While my sister jumps too soon into a relationship, I can't even find an eligible bachelor, as I live in an isolated area. Do you have some suggestions to help me? Turning 50 is tough enough, and no partner is pretty rough. I want to say that you have accomplished a lot, and it seems as if you have never been alone—you write of many friends. That's what I pray for. — S.L., Boise, Idaho Dear S.L., Many of us who had childhoods such as yours find great difficulty in trusting enough to allow ourselves to find love. It's as though we have an invisible shield around us that says to others: "Do not approach. Do not enter my space." Both you and your sister need to work on forgiveness—not to absolve those who abused you, but to free yourselves from those past experiences. Second, you need to develop patterns of trust within yourselves. Check a sample of your handwriting, and notice how you cross your "T's." Make sure that you cross them at the very top; this will help to instill a trust for life. Would you consider moving to a less isolated area? Perhaps closer to your sister? Joint counseling could be very helpful for both of you. Be sure to affirm daily: I FORGIVE THE PAST, AND I OPEN MY HEART TO LOVE. Dear Louise, I have just read your inspiring book, You Can Heal Your Life. What else can I say except thank you so much. My life has always been such an uphill battle, never getting anywhere, always giving 100 percent to my so-called friends and getting nothing in return, but now it's my turn to change my life and start looking after myself. Your book has been my first step in doing so. I am quite interested in meditation, but it seems as if there are a lot of blocks stopping me at this point. Do you have any suggestions for meditating successfully? Thank you again. — H.G., Sydney, Australia Dear H.G., Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad that you've put your feet on the spiritual pathway of life. You have many delightful experiences before you as you learn to take charge of your life. You will learn that most of your problems of the past were merely mirrors of your beliefs. Now, all you have to do is begin to change the way you think. Life will take care of the rest. Remember, it's only a thought, and a thought can be changed. Meditation is very simple. Just sit quietly with your eyes closed for a few moments. Observe your breathing, and notice how your body relaxes. Begin by doing this for five minutes once a day. That's all. You're merely allowing yourself to connect with your own inner wisdom. Dear Louise, A person very dear to me seems to suffer from sleep apnea. I'm wondering what this points to, as I cannot seem to find anything on it in your book Heal Your Body. Anyway, I'm very concerned, and my fear is prompting me to seek an answer so I can plant a seed in him about what may really be going on! I'm really scared that my friend will stop breathing, and I'm just acknowledging the fear. I do visualize him breathing easily, and I bless him in my prayers. — H.S., Mexico City Dear H.S., On a metaphysical level, sleep apnea is caused by fear and a lack of trust in the process of life. When your friend goes to bed at night, it would be good for him to affirm: I TRUST THE PROCESS OF LIFE, AND I AM SAFE. By doing so, he will be able to relax and drift into a peaceful slumber. On a physical level, sleep apnea is usually found in overweight people. Removing all wheat and dairy products from the diet for one month often releases the weight and relieves the condition. Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical teacher and the best selling author of 23 books, including You Can Heal Your Life, Empowering Women, and Letters to Louise. Since beginning her career as a Science of Mind minister in 1981, she has assisted thousands of people in discovering and using the full potential of their own creative powers for personal growth and self-healing. Louise's works have been translated into 25 different languages in 33 countries throughout the world. For a free catalog of books, audios, videos, and other products by Louise Hay and other Hay House authors, please call (800) 654-5126 or fax (800) 650-5115. If you would like Louise to answer your letter in this publication, address your letter to: Dear Louise Column, c/o Hay House, Inc., P.O. Box 5100, Carlsbad, CA 92018-5100. Please visit the Hay House Website at: hayhouse.com. (Letters used in this column may be edited for length and clarity.) For information on becoming a certified teacher of Louise Hay's philosophy, call Patricia Crane at (800) 969-4584 in the U.S. and Canada, or at (714) 969-9383 internationally. There are teachers trained in Louise's philosophy throughout the world. They are all listed on the Internet at louisehayteachers.com