invite it back into our lives but the more we try to force it, the more elusive passion becomes. There is a process that leads to a lack of passion. It begins when we live for the future, putting happiness off until later. Then we settle for an unsatisfying present and cope with our emptiness through addictions and repressing feelings. The more we numb ourselves, the less we are able to hear the intuitive guidance that leads us to our path of greatest fulfillment. The more we deny our desires and passions because they don't fit with our future-focused goals, the more unhealthy and out of balance our desires become and the more we need to control them. So we set up a lifestyle where we are routinely doing something other than what we want to do, repressing our desires and, consequently, having to cope with the ensuing stress and unhappiness. The result is depression, inertia and sometimes illness.

Inertia is always there for a reason. Sometimes it's because our effort has gotten off track somehow and no matter how much we try to push forward, we make no headway. Self-discipline doesn't help at these times because what's called for is a change in direction rather than more effort in the same direction. Going with inertia rather than fighting it may be the fastest way out of it. Getting back on track may require a complete shift in priorities, a change in life goals and other steps that take us out of our comfort zone. If we have been caught up in too much activity, inertia may be our signal that we need some nonactive dreaming time to become refreshed, reinspired and reenergized. There are times when inertia is there to protect us from going forward when some part of us believes our desired goal is not safe or somehow not in our best interest. In the early eighties when I worked with many people who had cancer and other serious illnesses, I met a therapist who specialized in teaching people with cancer to visualize their disease away.

This therapist shared with me her great frustration over the fact that so few of her clients were motivated to continue their healing programs. She could not understand why these people would not do a few simple exercises to save their lives. Yet what she perceived to be a foolish lack of discipline on their part may have been an unconscious instinct not to let go of their disease too quickly. For many, the onset of a life-threatening disease causes a profound reevaluation of life priorities. It often forces people to give more attention to themselves than they ever have and to create many inner and outer changes. These hidden gains of an illness may be so vitally important to our well-being that we unconsciously choose them, even over healing the disease. In this way, inertia comes up, not as a weakness or lack of discipline, but because some instinctive part of us is not willing to give up the hidden gains of staying as we are.

Giving too much energy to what we feel we "should" do and not enough to what we want to do is a sure path to inertia. Following our heart's desire is the only way to rekindle passion. Everything else just leads back to stuckness. Many people believe this to be impossible to do, identifying all the things they "should" do and can't possibly abandon to do what they love. Yet, in the end, the part of us that really doesn't want to do all these things often has a way of winning out in spite of our best efforts, as was the case with a woman in one of my groups who couldn't seem to shake a bout of flu that had lasted for weeks. As she talked about what else was going on in her life, she described feeling "stuck." She felt torn between wanting to continue to work in her husband's business, for which she felt no affinity, and wanting to stay home and take care of their family. As she talked about wanting to help her husband in his business, she became noticeably tense, sounded guilty and unhappy. It was clearly what she thought she "should" do rather than what her heart wanted. As she talked about taking care of her home and family, her face softened. She sounded relaxed and happy. By forcing herself to work in her husband's business she became so physically depleted that she had become virtually useless to everyone.

The following is an exercise that can help shake off the rigid routine and "shoulds" of life that keep us from hearing our inner guidance and finding our way back to passion. The more you believe you couldn"t possibly make the time to do this exercise, the more you probably would benefit from a disruption in routine.

Set aside a day, or at least half a day, when you have nothing scheduled. Make no plans. At the beginning of this day ask yourself what it is that you most want to do right now. Do nothing until you feel a strong inclination toward a particular activity (or nonactivity). Let yourself be "lazy," let yourself sit quietly dreaming if that is your pleasure, or do something you usually wouldn't give yourself the time for. When you are drawn to something, do it for as long as it feels satisfying, until you feel drawn to doing something else. Spend the day identifying and following your impulses and inclinations without judging any activity as better or worse than any other. Imagine these impulses are signals from your inner guidance that, as you learn to listen, will lead you to your highest good and highest passion.