Beginnings, Middles, and Endings - an excerpt from Ajahn Sumano Bhikkhu

"Halfway" expresses the wise approach we must take in dealing with the mind -- one that comes with neither too much ambition or too little flexibility; one that doesn't waver with indecision and wishy-washy intentions. "Halfway" is the attitude of perfect balance that remains untouched by the comings and going of the monkey mind.

"Meeting" connotes a dynamic effort toward a subject or a goal. It implies an enthusiastic, resolute movement to stabilize the irrepressible mind that cannot retain a moment's peace. This determined effort, applied with diligence and integrity, and directed by wisdom, will enable us to acquire the discipline required to get us on the right track, so that we can "meet the monkey halfway."

BEGINNINGS

Note that there is a beginning. What is a beginning, anyway? Where does it originate? Everything must have previous or an antecedent cause. This is a causal world, so it has, necessarily, a beginning/s. These beginnings are quite easily observable.

We are prejudiced toward beginnings. We love grand openings, premieres, new cars, new products. We have learned to anticipate the beginning of a movie, a concert, a TV program, basketball games, and tennis matches. Everything begins from something. Babies are the beginning of people (there is also a beginning of babies, and the beginning of zygotes, and the beginning of ???). Weddings are the beginning of long-term, intimate relationships. That first glance was the beginning of the first kiss, which was the beginning of the wedding. All these beginning moments anticipate the inevitable separation. Actually, beginnings and endings should be given equal reverence and appreciation in our lives.

Make a move, any move, and there is a beginning of that move. Let's say you blow your nose, rub your eye, get up from a chair, or open the refrigerator door. The first movement toward the intended result is a beginning. Now, if you look carefully, the beginning of any of these activities actually began a lot further back than the gestures that initiated your body's action. There was first a thought filled with an intention or desire to do something with your physical body. The mind precedes all action. Thought is the predecessor to any action. Think about it. Can you do anything without the thought of what you want to do coming first? Even if you decide to let everything just happen, regardless of the outcome, you still had to first decide in your mind to let everything happen. There is no getting around this fact. Even the marvel of spontaneity doesn't circumvent this order of things at all.

Take a moment to look into spontaneity and notice that this is a special, unimpeded energy. When you recognize that spontaneity is something of a different order or mode than ordinary deliberated thought, you must examine a deeper level of precedent thought to get a sense of the origin of spontaneity. The manner in which a thought-form arrives becomes an object of investigation.

Spontaneity issues one definite, unpremeditated option selected by the intuition itself as the one most appropriate in that particular mind-moment. The beginning of this pre-selected thought came into consciousness directly from the unknown. Trying to find the beginning of all beginnings is a practice that leads to auspicious wisdom.

When you come to these spiritually provocative places, pause from your primary concern here with "B-ME" and turn your attention toward these subtle, overlooked aspects of mentality. What exactly is evoked, deliberated thought, in contrast to spontaneity?

Deliberated thought comes through analysis and rationality. Thinking, coupled with considering, followed by the contrasting faculties, tests the alternatives by weighing different possibilities and contingencies, then compares and judges them in relationship to each other, along with the desired result. The mind is aware of the debate occurring between rival considerations, both bearing positive and negative aspects.

The beginning of rational thought seems to be on the agenda of ideas and considerations spread out before the mind for examination. Here, the mind attempts to sort out the better choices from the field of possibilities and, eventually, settles on the best one.

It's likely that you will come upon doubt and confusion hidden furtively in the darkest corners of your mind. No meditator can avoid them. What is their role? Pause from the primary occupation with beginnings, middles, and endings to notice what it feels like when doubt and confusion involve themselves in any situation. Where is the beginning of doubt and confusion? Are they in your mind all the time? Are they inherent to your mind? If you look carefully, you will see that doubt and confusion arise from the same source as thinking. If there is rational, analytical thought, there is going to be doubt and confusion. Why? Because choice creates them. No one selection will, or can, be ideal. All have benefits and merit. Can you find the beginning of doubt, chaos, and confusion? It lies in ignorance -- the ignorance of wanting things in a particular way and no other, the ignorance of being unwilling to face things that differ from your particular and individualized desires. You must practice in order to see and confirm this for yourself.

MIDDLES

Anything that has a beginning has a middle. Some middles are rather easy to find – for instance, the middle of a glass of orange juice, the middle of a deck of cards, the middle of a football game, the middle of a hot dog.

Nonphysical things have middles as well, but they are not so easy to identify. For instance, where is the idle of a thought? Or an emotion? Where is the middle of jealousy? Have you ever looked for it? That angle of observation takes the steam out of jealousy, or irritation, or even depression.

If you always look at things in familiar ways, following well-worn tracks, you will never see them differently. You must take a new tack to come to a new perspective. Where is the middle of the second war in Yugoslavia or Bosnia? Where is the middle of the life span of planet Earth?

We don't care to pay much attention to the middle of things. Only very eccentric people celebrate their "half birthday." Nobody verbally acknowledges being half-hungry, or half-tired, or half-sad. Things at their supposed halfway point don't draw much enthusiasm: half-baked, half-dressed, half-shod. As a meditator, however, you will find profundity here as well, if you look for it carefully.

ENDINGS

In a world of beginnings, middles, and endings, all beginnings force an ending. Beginnings push through middles and roll on to endings. And what do endings do? Does the energy of the event disappear? No, it doesn't. It goes on to be something new, re-forming in a new beginning, an endless, inexhaustible cycle of energy.

Notice that all beginnings, middles, and endings dovetail with each other. They overlay and overlap. There is no isolated beginning, no discreet middle, no absolute ending. They all come together in one package, connected to each other like a ream of form-folded computer paper. The more closely you observe, the more amazed you will be to discover that this is all that is actually happening within this world of body and mind, our world. The world is actually just a rhythmic series of beginnings, middles, and endings. You have to see the middle, as well as the beginning and ending of things in order to arrive at truth.

Endings are rather obvious. They are seemingly final moments. We have been conditioned to think that after the ending, there is nothing else. Actually, things end, yet they don't end. The passing show doesn't stop. Perhaps it can't stop, because it never started. In any case, it goes on: events, people, objects, all combine to support the passing parade, this amazing spectacle. Once things get rolling in this world, the momentum continues. It is vitally important to your life as a human being that you understand this. As the understanding of this reality seeps in, what was once obvious becomes just a particular way of dealing with the world. That tightly locked mental construct that predetermines your view of things loosens its grip. With that release comes a new opportunity to develop more interesting and accurate ways to see the world.

The above excerpt is from pages 55-60 of Meeting the Monkey Halfway by Ajahn Summano Bhikkhu, printed by permission of publisher Samuel Weiser, Inc. (York Beach, ME, 2000).