---

Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical teacher and the bestselling author of 27 books, including You Can Heal Your Life, Empowering Women, and Letters to Louise. Since beginning her career as a Science of Mind minister in 1981, she has assisted thousands of people in discovering and using the full potential of their own creative powers for personal growth and self-healing. Louise's works have been translated into 25 different languages in 33 countries throughout the world.

Dear Louise,

I've had chronic back pain for years. Recently I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. If you're familiar with this disease, you know that you hurt all over. I think that a person with this illness is a perfectionist. I know I am.

I'm very caring and compassionate—that is, until I fall apart and then struggle to care for myself. It's depressing for me to depend on others. Unfortunately it is no longer possible to do for myself, and I feel guilty.

I'd appreciate any information you can give me on fibromyalgia and the mind-body connection.

-- S.N., Delaware

Dear S.N.,

In your letter, I see a little child who was taught to feel guilty about everything. One or both of your parents probably used guilt to control your behavior. Parents that use this system have no idea of the damage that is done to the child. Anyone who tries to be a perfectionist is doomed to failure. There are too many variables in life. However, "we" are always perfect just as we are, for we are Divine expressions of Life, doing everything in the best way we know how with the understanding and upbringing that we have had. So, my dear, take the pressure off yourself.

As I said last month, learn to breathe deeply, fully and slowly. Allow yourself time to just be. Allow Life to help you in the form of other people. Throw guilt out the window; let it blow away in the breeze.

Fibromyalgia is accompanied by emotional tension reflected in the knotting up of muscles. When a person is under stress, the body reacts and tenses. Stiffness and pain is felt in the fibrous tissues, usually deep within the muscles, yet there is nothing wrong with the muscles themselves. Stiffness is often a result of rigid, stiff thinking. Tension, fear and holding on result in the body cramping and gripping.

Find a yoga class—it would be very good for you. Teach yourself to relax and use the affirmation: I AM RELAXED AND SAFE. MY MIND IS FLEXIBLE AND PEACEFUL AND SO IS MY BODY. I AM FREE OF PAIN, AND ALL IS WELL.

*****

Dear Louise,

I am writing to you since I've turned to many people and have been to so many places without receiving help. The problem is that I have always been extremely afraid of death. This fear has been with me as long as I can remember. Some say that I am scared to live, or to do the most with my life. That could have been the case a few years ago, but now I'm doing the things I love.

I have a one-year-old daughter, and still, the fear is getting stronger. My love for her is strong, but I have lost faith in God, and I can't trust that I will go on in some form or another. I am longing for proof of an afterlife, but I know I am asking for too much. I always want to be with the ones I love, and I always want to "be around" (live forever) somehow. Can you help me?

-- A.L., Amsterdam

Dear A.L.,

What a shame that you fear death. It is something every person goes through, so it has to be natural, normal, and nothing to fear. You say you have been to many people and no one can help you. This shows how much you want to continue to punish yourself. I don't think you want to let go of this belief. It is unfortunate, because you will teach your daughter to have the same fear. Why would you want to "live forever" if you're scared all the time?

If you really want to release this fear, then every time it passes through your mind, replace the fearful thought with this affirmation: I CHOOSE TO LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME WITH JOY. I AM SAFE.

*****

Dear Louise,

My husband and I are from India and are currently living in the U.S. In India, we lived with my husband's family and we all owned a business together. We came to the U.S. two years ago to try to run the family business from here, but it did not do well. I had never experienced such a shortage of money before in my life. We had to send my kids back to India to live. We are trying to sell our store here in America and go back home.

Here is my dilemma: I can't stand my in-laws. When we all lived together, my mother-in-law was very domineering and always had to have her way. She would scream at me in front of others and was more like a schoolteacher who would rate me every day from 1 to 10 and account for every small thing. There was neither appreciation nor smiles, and our relationship went from bad to worse. I told my husband that I want our own house and don't want to live with them again, but he said we can't afford our own home and it would look bad to not live with the in-laws.

What can I do? I have worked on forgiving my in-laws, but I think I need an affirmation to help me through this. Is it possible to settle in the U.S. and not go back to India, but still have the same lifestyle/comfort/money?

-- A.R., Austin, Texas

Dear A.R,

I have helped many people who have family problems. The best affirmation to use is: I HAVE A HARMONIOUS, LOVING RELATIONSHIP WITH ALL OF MY FAMILY MEMBERS, ESPECIALLY MY MOTHER-IN-LAW. If you will affirm this consistently, things will change. Start right now, and do it every time you think of her so you can build up good energy before you encounter her again. Many people have worked miracles with this affirmation.

---

For a free catalog of books, audios, videos, and other products by Louise L. Hay and other Hay House authors--and/or to receive a free premiere issue of The Louise Hay Newsletter--please call 800/654-5126
or fax 800/650-5115.

If you would like Louise to answer your letter in this publication, please send it to: Dear Louise Column, c/o Hay House, Inc., P.O. Box 5100, Carlsbad, CA 92018-5100, or e-mail your letter to: admin@hayhouse.com. (Letters used in this column may be edited for length and clarity.) Please visit the Hay House Website at: www.hayhouse.com.

---

Next Article

Return to This Month's Index

Go to Homepage