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Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical teacher and the bestselling author of 27 books, including You Can Heal Your Life, Empowering Women, and Letters to Louise. Since beginning her career as a Science of Mind minister in 1981, she has assisted thousands of people in discovering and using the full potential of their own creative powers for personal growth and self-healing. Louise's works have been translated into 25 different languages in 33 countries throughout the world.

Dear Louise,

I'm so tired of hearing my mother complain about her abusive childhood and how she's finally outlived everyone (meaning her abusive stepfather and her mother, whom she didn't get along with). I try to talk to her about forgiving the past and moving on--and she says she's willing to do that--but whenever we talk on the phone, it's the same old story. She's too resentful to change.

My calls to her have become more and more infrequent, which saddens me, but I think it's best that I not put myself in the middle of all this negative talk. Do you think it's possible to try to change someone else's views about their childhood? I don't seem to be making any headway.

-- D.S., Wichita, KS

Dear D.S.,

Constant complainers seldom realize how boring they are and why we tend to avoid them. You don't need to hear all that negative talk. It's impossible to change anyone unless they truly desire to make that change. Most people aren't willing to break the habit of living in the past. You've done as much as you can; now just let your mother be.

Let's see what we can do to change your consciousness. For the next month, every time your mother passes through your mind, use the affirmation: I HAVE A DELIGHTFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MOTHER. And say it with a smile on your face! I've witnessed miraculous changes in family relationships using affirmations such as this one.

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Dear Louise,

I've recently started reading your book You Can Heal Your Life, and it is giving me much encouragement. I've suffered from agoraphobia, panic disorders and depression for 15 years. I've physically withdrawn from tranquilizers, which I've used for 14 years, but I find myself still psychologically and emotionally dependent on them. How can I get past this habit of using pills to calm my anxiety, and rely on my own strength instead?

-- M.E., Ireland

Dear M.E.,

The strength you're seeking is in your own breath. I have a feeling you've been a shallow breather for many years. When we're tense, we hold our breath, and this creates more tension in our body. From this moment on, I want you to become aware of your breath. Right now, take in a deep breath; fill your lungs; and then let out a long, slow exhalation. You might feel a little lightheaded for a moment because your lungs aren't accustomed to being used to their fullest. Put little notes all over your house saying BREATHE to keep reminding you of this simple healing practice. As many times a day as you can, take three deep breaths. This will heal your anxiety once and for all. You are a powerful lady, and it's time for you to claim your place in life. Affirm: I DESERVE TO TAKE IN THE FULLNESS AND RICHNESS OF LIFE.

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Dear Louise,

I've truly enjoyed your books since I was a teenager, and I have a loving and positive feeling about you and all you've done.

I recently supported my 37-year-old husband through his recovery from Hodgkin's disease. He went through six months of chemotherapy and one month of radiation. He is now well and cured. This period was scary for me as a spouse, and for a period of time, it tested my positive thinking and faith. I'd like to let the experience go in trust. I'd also like to bring back a sense of peace and well-being to my thinking. Do you have any affirmations for me that would be helpful?

--N.N., Montreal, Canada

Dear N.N.,

Thank you for your kind words and for your appreciation. I feel so blessed that I'm able to help people improve the quality of their lives. How wonderful that your husband has moved through his challenge.

The voices of self-hate that run through so many of our minds chip away at our self-esteem and drain the joy out of our blood. Self-acceptance is vital for our health. If we don't choose to feel good about ourselves, our health always suffers.

These are some of the affirmations I use every day: I AM PERFECTLY HAPPY TO BE ME. I AM GOOD ENOUGH JUST AS I AM. I LOVE AND APPROVE OF MYSELF. I AM JOY, EXPRESSING AND RECEIVING ALL THE GOOD IN LIFE.

You can also add: I AM GRATEFUL FOR EVERY EXPERIENCE and I LOVE LIFE. May you both enjoy many more years of living life to the fullest.

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For a free catalog of books, audios, videos, and other products by Louise L. Hay and other Hay House authors--and/or to receive a free premiere issue of The Louise Hay Newsletter--please call 800/654-5126
or fax 800/650-5115.

If you would like Louise to answer your letter in this publication, please send it to: Dear Louise Column, c/o Hay House, Inc., P.O. Box 5100, Carlsbad, CA 92018-5100, or e-mail your letter to: admin@hayhouse.com. (Letters used in this column may be edited for length and clarity.) Please visit the Hay House Website at: www.hayhouse.com.

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