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Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical teacher and the bestselling author of 27 books, including You Can Heal Your Life, Empowering Women, and Inner Wisdom. Since beginning her career as a Science of Mind minister in 1981, she has assisted thousands of people in discovering and using the full potential of their own creative powers for personal growth and self-healing. Louise's works have been translated into 25 different languages in 33 countries throughout the world. Dear Louise, I'm very happy to have read your book, You Can Heal Your Life. I'm now on my journey to change, but by myself, it's very difficult, and I keep falling and falling. All I want to say is that I find consolation in your words, and it keeps me going. I'm very educated, yet I see little to no value in myself. I depend on every man I find for my happiness, and subsequently lose myself in the relationship. The result is that they run like there's no tomorrow. I get hurt and blame myself for being the one who did everything wrong. Any advice? -- L.V., Princeton, NJ Dear L.V., Please drop the affirmation "Its very difficult, and I keep falling." Those words will never create a joyful life for you. Your neediness is what makes the men run. However, the only love you really "need" is your own—it is the only love that will satisfy you. Your inner child is crying out for it. No other person can give you enough love to make up for what you refuse to give yourself. When you were a child, some misguided individuals gave you the idea that you were worthless Being an obedient little child, you believed them, and you've abandoned yourself ever since. Now, like a little child, you must learn to love yourself all over again. Yes, it feels strange, but that will pass. Every morning and evening, look into the mirror and say I LOVE YOU, I REALLY LOVE YOU. Then, also say, THIS GETS EASIER AND EASIER EVERY DAY. As you learn to value yourself, you will then attract a man who will also value you. You're far more powerful than any old memory of the past. **** Dear Louise, I'm a single woman in my 50s, and I've traveled all over the world. I love living like an upscale hippie, with no kids, financial obligations, or attachments. I've been on the spiritual path for decades, and just to give you some background, I grew up with a father who was an alcoholic. When I start to get somewhere professionally, I move on to something else. It may sound crazy, but I wonder if I'm too talented and too open to anything and everything and that's why other people always seem to benefit from my ideas and hard groundwork. This upsets me, as so much of my energy is spent on survival. What do you suggest? -- A.E., Miami, FL Dear A.E., Many people would be delighted to have all the positive things you have going for you! I see you as a Renaissance woman, with many talents, and also the ability to make money wherever you go. I believe that your problem--if you have one--is that you feel guilty over all your good fortune, which does not coincide with your father's alcoholic messages. Therefore, you're unconsciously trying to ruin your life in some way. What I want you to do is to feel and express gratitude every moment of the night and day. Rejoice in your blessings and be grateful for them. Love your body. Love the weather. Love your food. Love all the people you know. And most of all, forgive your father. His words had nothing to do with you; he was only expressing his own pain. Affirm: I LOVE MY LIFE. I AM GRATEFUL FOR ALL MY BLESSINGS. I DESERVE TO ENJOY ALL OF LIFE AT ALL TIMES. **** Dear Louise, I've been involved in a relationship with a woman for the past two years who has obesity and depression in her family. She had a slight weight problem when we met, and since then has lost a portion of it due to my prompting. Unfortunately, she resents me to a degree for ever hurting her feelings by having commented on such a hypersensitive issue. She is now on medication, seeing two therapists, and says that her self-esteem is at an all-tine low. Although she has read your books and can see many applicable truths, she's questioning the power of affirmations. Her depression and obsession over her body image is ruining our relationship. I'm at my wit's end. --H.C., Brisbane, Australia Dear H.C., Stop trying to fix her; it won't work. Every thought we think and every word we say is an affirmation. Her depression and obsession with her body image is using affirmations in a negative way. The real question: "Why are you involved with someone with such low self-esteem, who resents you for trying to help?" Is this a repeat of a childhood pattern in your family? You're reliving some unfinished childhood business. No wonder you're at your wit's end. It's fine to put out your hand to help someone; however, if they want to drag you down in the mud with them, it's time to let go. You deserve a better life. Think thoughts that make you feel good, no matter what the other person is saying. Only you are responsible for your own happiness. Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical teacher and the bestselling author of 27 books, including You Can Heal Your Life, Empowering Women, and Letters to Louise. Since beginning her career as a Science of Mind minister in 1981, she has assisted thousands of people in discovering and using the full potential of their own creative powers for personal growth and self-healing. Louise's works have been translated into 25 different languages in 33 countries throughout the world. For a free catalog of books, audios, videos, and other products by Louise L. Hay and other Hay House authors--and/or to receive a free premier issue of The Louise Hay Newsletter--please call (800) 654-5126 or fax (800) 650-5115. If you would like Louise to answer your letter in this publication, please send it to: Dear Louise Column, c/o Hay House, Inc., P.O. Box 5100, Carlsbad, CA 92018-5100, or e-mail your letter to: admin@hayhouse.com. (Letters used in this column may be edited for length and clarity.) Please visit the Hay House Website at: www.hayhouse.com. |
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