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The Touch of Timeliness
By J. Michael Meissner Michael Meissner is a meditation facilitator to victims and survivors of cancer at the Wellness House in Hinsdale. He is an Architect and serves on the Executive Committee of Compassion in Action. The following is a letter he wrote to his mother, prior to her passing away. Compassion in Action’s Twilight Brigade’s mission is to mobilize and train volunteers to provide a loving presence for those approaching death, thereby ensuring that no one need die alone. I remember a series of moments as a young man that stone by stone have provided me with this current platform from which I now look upon the world. Notable are the moments I spent deep in the heart of the Canadian boundary waters. I was a young camper, in the wild for the first time, and dependant on myself for self-reliance. Tangible was the need of anything resembling familiarity or even a measure of perspective to help me balance the distance between my memories of home, the cascade of new adventures, and my hope –no, actually prayers – for an urgent reunion with my Mother, the touch stone of all precious values. Who has it always been to whom I have turned with my losses, my finds, the high-aspired dreams and schemes I hoped for in time? The hurts and humiliations, my temporal victories, and occasional self-amused, self-important views, I deposited with you, my Mom. In the midst of leaving home, which is almost a life-time challenge, I found over and over that most often what I was seeking and in need of finding was, in fact, safe and well within myself. There nested an attitude, an eternal outlook one that made room for accepting who I was and how I got to be where I found myself, as well as being responsible for the choices I had or was about to make. This is simple enough to understand though not always as easy to put into practice. Using my dreams and intuitions as road maps, I still come to find that the single greatest source of unconditional love and inspiration I can identify, short of the Creator, is you, my Mother. These things being said in the most condensed of sentiments, it is my hope, actually a profound need, to express not only my gratitude but also a wish that is intended to transcend time-bound reality. Knowing that life’s journey includes the unexpected, untimely, and the synchronistic movements by the hands of time means now is the best moment for me to say the following: In the most profoundly simple way, I want to thank you, with every cell in my being, for being the epicenter of our family. Not only have you given us a home in every sense of the word, but also you have done so without the exclusion of anyone – not child nor other’s spouse – no one. This is so atypical from how much our society has reacted to the breakup and reformation of families. But that is you – the heart of inclusion, not exclusion. And having the blessings of two father figures has allowed me a deeper and far more universal appreciation of the parenting options I could give my children. But it has taken two fathers to attempt to balance a single, extraordinary mother. Mom, how incredibly grateful I feel to have been born your son! I want to make sure right now that I have said something that is important to me. There will be no need for us to say the sort of things that people often find themselves hoping to say or sadly wishing to have said when the opportunity to longer exists. How could I choose to miss or long for something that is an integral and eternal part of me and can never be separate from who I’ve become? How could I choose to feel sorry for myself and wish you or anyone I truly love to stay here in this world when you or any of us are called to the next purpose and reward in our life’s path? You know that I have absolute faith in what are and will be the rewards, reunions, and release that are yours to experience. This wish is without reservation, without hesitation, unconditionally, and it is with all the joy, love and blessings there can be. As I look ahead into the world before me, unable to anticipate the changes I’ll experience, the only way to give you comfort is to share with you how I will give comfort to my children now and in my allotted time –by being as truly, honest with myself at all times under all circumstances, and being at peace with myself and who I am. Most importantly, I will continually strive to live in a real sense that I am not different from heaven’s force that is in all people and all things, great and small. This is how you have lived. This is what I have learned from you. This is the gift I thank you for. And hereby promise to impart the same to my children, your grand and great grand children. No measure of time or apparent distance can gulf the language of the heart. It is my belief that this language supercedes all the words of our minds and utterances of our vocal chords. I will listen there with care and intension because I am aware that love cannot be lost or gained. Love simply is what we are and why we are here to learn. Mother, it is with all my heart, from the deepest place of my respect, appreciation, and love that I thank you and offer you my penultimate acknowledgement for all time.
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