2004 has been a year of change and introspection for me. Some things that used to be important no longer are, and some are more so. With this in mind, I looked ahead to the holidays with an eye toward simplifying things. Although I’m better than in years past, I still get a little crazy. Shopping, cleaning, cooking, wrapping. What does all that have to do with the peace and renewal of the season?

I decided that this year would be more about celebration of family and friends than about material things, but I realized that our kids wouldn’t be particularly pleased to hear that Santa wasn’t coming to our house this year. I also don’t think the extended family would be wild about getting us grab bag gifts and not getting any in return. So, can’t save much effort in the gift-giving arena. Truthfully, I like to shop, I like the Christmas songs in the stores, after Thanksgiving, and I enjoy wrapping presents.

Then I thought, maybe we won’t decorate so much this season. Although we don’t get as carried away as some people do, it still takes time to get it all together. And each year we add to it. We could save money and time there. Great idea, except that I really like our house when it’s all done up. I get equal pleasure in January when it all comes down.

Another part of any holiday is cleaning the house. We go through a panic trying to get it in order and pretend it’s like that all the time. I guess I could let that go, except I’d be mortified and that makes me crabby. Also, getting a home cleared and cleaned for an event is a kind of purification ritual. It gets rid of the old energy and makes space for the new.

Like many families, ours gets together with everyone bringing a dish. I bring desserts; have been making them forever. Sometimes they’re quite involved. I could save myself some stress by going simple or, heaven forbid, buying something. But I get enjoyment not only from making desserts, but also by providing something special. I guess cutting that out would not be a satisfying answer.

The truth is, I like Christmas and getting ready for it, and I want my life to be bigger, not smaller. Eliminating things isn’t the answer, bypassing some of the stress is. I’m hoping that the answer is a new frame of mind, looking at the same old things in a new way. So this year I plan to enjoy everything as it’s happening, instead of anticipating enjoyment when the work is done and then being too tired to actually enjoy it. Instead of going ’til I drop, I’ll take breaks to recharge. I plan to remember that I’m making the effort because I want to, not because anyone’s making me. I will also attempt to remember that no one is judging my performance, and if by chance someone is, too bad. This will probably come back to bite me, but when recruiting the kids to help, I’ll try to keep in mind that all this is way more important to me than to them, and to give them a break. I hope every purchase, every ornament, and every cup of sugar reminds me how lucky I am to have people to care for. When the Chipmunks’ Christmas tape is on, again, I’ll be thankful for all of our holiday traditions. And when I see the glow of lights and candles in the dark, I’ll be reminded of my kinship with all those in the world preparing for and taking part in their own winter celebrations.

I wish all of you and yours a huge, wonder-filled holiday season free from extraordinary stress.