Freedom From Personal History: A Toltec View
By Mark Edwards, MM

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Who do you trust, your ego or the universe?

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In several coastal and inland areas of Mexico, there was an empire of indigenous people called the Toltecs. They lived from about 100 B.C. to 700 A.D. and had vibrant, thriving communities. The powerful pyramids of Teotihuacan were their honoring to a multitude of spirits and forces that came and went through different doorways of reality. The pyramids, translated in English to “where men become Gods,” were a center for community, blood sacrifices, extraterrestrial visitations, and energetic transformation.

When the Spanish invaded this area, many of the Toltecs spread and integrated with other cultures, possibly fleeing even as far as the Anasazi ruins area in Arizona.

Many potent shamanic practices went underground with them, carried on by elders and sorcerers of this tradition. Some of their practices were related in the books of Carlos Castaneda, Miguel Ruiz, Victor Sanchez, etc., as first revealed by Navajo/Toltec elder Don Juan Matus.

The “Modem Toltecs” — we are not necessarily Indians or Mexicans — are today the practitioners those beliefs. Of a series of eleven distinct practices of the ancient Toltecs, one deserves reviewing at present, which is erasing personal history.

All through the seventies and up until today, Carlos Castaneda and his band of sorcerers (including Taisha Abelar and Florinda Donner) have been repeatedly questioned as to whether Don Juan ever existed. If Carlos seems fraudulent in his claims because of a lack of consistent, verifiable personal data, and bizarre teaching practices, this is because critics still don’t understand the teachings of Don Juan Matus or the Toltecs.

Having worked with members of Carlos’ circle, coordinating stalking/dreaming circles in Chicago for over ten years, and traveling extensively in the mountains of Mexico with descendants of the Toltec people, I will attempt to explore this dynamic for the reader.

The practice of erasing personal history is unique to the Toltec path. The modern Toltec’s concern is not with healing others or being gurus, it is with energetic transformation and dreaming. To gain the fluidity and energy to dream, however, the self, or ego, must be slowly erased. The reason that Carlos changed his date of birth, name, and age so often is not that he is lying, it is that he is erasing.

Our modern technological culture is obsessed with the details of each others’ lives. Look at the barbaric media exploitation of celebrities, or even the everyday people featured in the local news. It is a compulsive, obsessive preoccupation with each other’s life chronology, personal data, sexual and legal history, beliefs, religious views, etc. It is an illusion we worship; a mosh pit of self importance!

Talk shows, dating shows, celebrity magazines, pop songs, chat rooms all talking about “me,” “me,” “me.” The world of “me,” all about and everything to do with “me.” “I’m the best, he’s the worst. I’m the victim, he’s a hero. He’s a bad guy. Who slept with who, who’s in court today, who said what?” Blah, blah, blah.

From the practices of the Toltecs, we see that our personal history is like a heavy, burdening anchor that keeps us rooted and entrenched in the muck of everyday, ordinary reality and pettiness. A feeling of solidified, personal history leads to static energy blocks in our physical and subtle bodies. Memories, especially traumatic ones, are stored in the energy cells of our bodies, which leads to mental disorders, addictions, psychic/astral entity attachments, and physical illness. It is the root of all diseases and disharmony.

In our daily lives we incessantly talk to others and ourselves about the details of our personal lives, romantic encounters, beliefs, complaints, and self image. This repetitive, routinary fixation on the personal inventory of our ego and self importance keeps us trapped within a bubble of perception through which we not only see the world, but experience it. Once we spell out and reinforce our personal history to others, they get their claws into us and expect us to act, feel, and talk a certain way. We are then in a trap we have set for ourselves.

Through “personal history” we move from a holistic consciousness to a very selective one; paying compulsive attention to memories, characteristics, reinforcements, objects, beliefs, and defenses associated with the “me,” the “I,” our names, and even work titles, cultures, etc. We come to believe we are our name, personal history, title, inventory of memories, and so on. Once we have identified with the ego, our conciousness is locked into a world of separation and struggle.

There is an intelligence, a massive field of energy and awareness, outside the self. As modern Toltecs, we call it Intent, or just Infinity. If we can be brave enough to drop our reliance and addiction to the “self,” we can connect with this greater intelligence that lives in and animates all living things. The question is, who do you trust, your ego or the universe as a whole? How can we expect to “see” the universe when we are in the middle of the picture?

There are many ways in our practice to disentangle from the human form (personal history), primarily through a set of practices called Not Doings, Recapitulation, and Cord Cutting. These practices are out of the scope of this article and require personal guidance and time to develop.

Here are a few practical ways, however, to get started on erasing your personal history:

1. Get rid of old photos and memorabilia. They keep you rooted in the past.

2. Change your name and address often, if possible.

3. Stop using the words “I,” “me,” and “myself” as much as possible. This will free up your awareness.

4. Stop talking about your past, age, culture, degrees, job, titles, etc. Don’t reinforce the illusion.

5. Change your appearance periodically (hair, clothes,etc.). This deters having a fixed self image.

6. Stop having pictures taken of you.

7. Avoid getting too enmeshed with other people. Keep your relationships fluid and open.

8. Stop explaining all your comings and goings to others. Their expectations will imprison your energy.

9. Study water. It is how our spirit moves — fluidly.

We have a choice: spend our time here obsessing over our self image, victim/hero posture, personal history, and self importance, or pull our energy away from these things and connect with the mystery of Infinity. No “God” or religion will save us from the hell of our lives, we must choose to walk away from the mess we have made of ourselves. Keep fighting and keep dreaming.

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Mark Edwards has been directly involved with Toltec teachings for over fourteen years and has undergone other intensive rites of passage within the path proposed by Don Juan Matus, Carlos Casteneda, and the Toltec lineage of sorcery/shamanism. Contact Healing Earth Resources (phone 773-EARTHLY) for information on Edwards’ “Introduction to Practical Shamanism” April 22, 2004, and his four-week course “Art of the Warrior” beginning May 13, 2004.

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