Swami Beyondananda
Between Iraq and a Hard Place, or Can a Grandma Heal a Grand Mal?

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Dear Swami:
I just finished reading The Da Vinci Code, and it’s become clear to me that we have a huge dishonoring of the feminine taking place in our Western so-called “civilization.” We have the overvaluing of death and destruction, and the undervaluing of nurturance. Why else would we be engaged in a destructive, no-end war on Iraq, and why else would we have an administration that wouldn’t lift a finger for the environment? Your thoughts, Swami?
Blair Lowdleigh, Eugene, Oregon

Dear Blair,
While I agree with you, if we want to be credible, we must be accurate. To say that the current administration has not lifted a finger for the environment is not completely true. The middle finger is still a finger, is it not? And besides, President Bush just recently brought a special gift from his ranch in Crawford, Texas, for his tree-hugger friends—a prickly-pear cactus.

And yes, the dominance of male energy in our government has indeed a “stag-nation.” So perhaps the best way to heal the “stag-nation” that has caused us to believe that the Earth and all of her creatures are to be dominated by man-unkind, is to allow the feminine energy to make a doe-nation. In many Native American societies, for example, the decision to go to war rests finally with the grandmothers.

Instead of listening to the visionaries, the divisionaries in our current administration—empty warheads, I am sad to say—went off into Iraq half-cocked, got their Iraqs off, but haven’t figured out how to get the Iraqis off of offing us. And I’m afraid there is a lot more offing in the offing in this awful movie, the Iraqi Horror Picture Show. Indeed, our seizure of Iraq has turned into a grand mal.

Maybe we need a no nonsense Grandma—Granny D would fit the bill—to say, “The children need shoes. So there is no way you’re goin’ out with the boys, gambling on that good-for-nothing war, and shooting your wad! You bring that $107 billion back home right now, young man, or you’re marching right back to Crawford, Texas—and no state dinner for you!”

Psychics Will Become Unnecessary, Swami Predicts

Dear Swami:
Are you psychic? And if so, what do you see in the cards for our world in the next year?
Rhoda Ruder, Redondo Beach, California

Dear Rhoda:
People ask me all the time if I am psychic, and I always give them the same answer. I tell them, “I knew you were going to ask that question.” And yet, I am loathe to make predictions for several reasons. First, I don’t want to jeopardize my non-prophet status. If you are reading this book, you have probably paid money for it, and some of that money will make its way back to me. The Eternal Revenue Service has made it pretty clear that making predictions for money is a no-no. Propheteering, they call it.

The second reason I’m unwilling to make predictions is because now they’re taking psychics to court for malpractice. If I make a prediction and it doesn’t come true, I can be sued. In other words, if you’re a sucker for a seer, and what the seer sees sucks, you can redress your grievance in a seer-sucker suit.

But you know, the most important reason I don’t make predictions is because this is indeed a universe of infinite possibilities, and anything can happen. They try to predict the weather, and one little butterfly fart can change everything. So if we want truly unpredictable and unrecognizable results, my advice is close your predictionary, and turn on your tell-a-vision. Attune yourself to the clearest channel you can receive, and tell your vision to others. Then, put yourself into that picture. Live into that possibility until it becomes a probability. I predict that will lead to a future that is much healthier than the one we are currently plunging fool-speed ahead into

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© 2004 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights reserved. Visit Swami online at www.wakeuplaughing.com.

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