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The New Golden Rules, By Dharma Singh Khalsa, M.D. Some direction in taking the next step Do Unto Others As children, we all learned the Golden Rule at home, school, church, synagogue, or the like. I’m certain that you remember it: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” The basic idea is to do no harm; ideally, the original Golden Rule also encourages respectful and trusting relationships. Every faith and tradition has their own expression of this principle: The poet Kabir wrote: “As you deem yourself, so deem others. Then you will become a partner to Heaven.” In the Talmud, it is written: “What is hurtful to yourself do not do to your fellow man. That is the whole of the Torah and the remainder is but commentary.” The Buddha also had a version of the rule: “Hurt not others with that which pains yourself.” A great sage of India, Guru Arjan, wrote in the holy book of the Sikhs called the Siri Guru Granth Sahib: “Don’t create hatred with anyone, as God is within everyone.” And the Bible instructs: “Always treat others as you would like them to treat you; that is the Law of the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12) There’s no room for rudeness, selfishness, hate, or violence if we’re treating our neighbors the way we want to be treated ... or is there? Do you think that there might be a connection between the fact that so few people experience bliss in their daily lives coupled with the concept that we find so few—even those who profess to be religious—who act as though they really love their neighbors? Perhaps people don’t treat others very nicely on a consistent basis because they don’t treat themselves very well either. Many individuals, in my experience, act as if they don’t love themselves very much at all. They don’t take care of themselves or make the time to take pleasure in life or enjoy recreation. Perhaps they ignore their family members and spend way too much time hiding from themselves in work, or in other diversions such as sex, food, or drugs. It could be that this is because they weren’t cared for very well, especially when they were young. I’ve seen many patients, for example, who have the belief that they weren’t nurtured as children; because of that feeling (correct or otherwise), they live with pain, anger, and resentment. According to the ancient laws of Eastern healing philosophy, this perception of not being taken care of as a child can create tremendous emotional imbalance. Medical research now shows that this can often lead to physical and mental illness. When people live in so much pain and carry with them such a tremendous amount of unbalanced stress, it’s often difficult to relate to others with love, grace, and consideration. I’ve meditated very deeply for a number of years about this difficult situation. This problem of lack of self-love and clarity isn’t something I can dismiss easily, because it’s continually being brought to my attention in my clinical work. Over and over again—regardless of the physical or medical reasons people come to me for a consultation—I continue to discover an underlying longing for spiritual evolution and the recognition, often on a subconscious level, that spiritual growth and greater self-love are the only ways out of misery. During meditation I’ve asked my Higher Power: How can people find happiness and bliss? How can I help them discover the Heaven on Earth that I found by living life with a spiritual foundation? After all, having come from a divorced family and having gone through a difficult first marriage, I’ve also had pain and difficulty in some aspects of my life. The answer God gave me was: “Meditate on Me and help others do the same.” So it’s clear that we must all go through the process of spiritual development. During this journey, we encounter and transform the pain of the past, until finally we emerge from the tunnel of darkness to discover the bright light of God’s love for us, and acknowledge all the blessings that we have deep within our souls. During my close to three decades of medical and ministerial practice, I’ve witnessed countless people repeating the same negative behavior patterns over and over again. As I discovered that so many of us are searching for more spirituality in our lives, I was led to create this new set of Golden Rules. These are for those individuals who can perhaps use some direction in taking the next step in their own personal and spiritual evolution as human beings on this little planet we call Earth. The New Golden Rules Here is some basic information about the New Golden Rules. New Golden Rule #1: Discover Your Miracle. Explore the path of right action in order to find your true identity—your Divine self. Realizing the miracle of your divinity requires three steps that will help you move from individual to group to universal consciousness. This process helps you unify your body, mind, and spirit with the infinite source of all creation. You’ll realize your connection to the universe and the part you’re meant to play in the unfolding of the spiritual evolution that is occurring in our lifetime. It’s during this journey that you’ll discover your miracle and plant the first seeds of living a more wonderful and blissful life. The actions are: 1. Develop or deepen a regular spiritual practice. 2. Make selfless service an important part of your life. 3. Create a community of spiritually like-minded people. When you take these three steps, you’ll kindle the Divine spark that resides within your being and begin a unique process that will bring you great joy.
New Golden Rule #2: Listen and Agree. Once you’ve refined your life by initiating the actions above, you’ll grow spiritually. After some time, you’ll be able to recognize the pulse of the still, small voice within your soul and reap the magnificent rewards of allowing the mystical you to become the guiding force in your life. This voice within is the will of God for you, and it’s there for you to know. As you learn to listen deeply, the pulse of God’s will for you will arise automatically and effortlessly. You’ll be guided to your highest destiny by this manifestation from your awakened soul. But it isn’t enough to just hear the voice or feel the pulse of God’s will for you. To fully reap the benefits of the second New Golden Rule, it’s very important to agree to follow this voice’s lead when you hear or feel it—that’s the key to this principle. New Golden Rule #3: Dissolve Your Blocks. After working with the first two rules, you’re ready to evolve into your next level of spiritual development. This is an exhilarating process that I consider with humility, awe, and reverence. Every person on the path to Heaven on Earth is beset by emotional obstacles, which are often unconscious, and keep you from advancing on your road to bliss. We all have these difficulties (anger, grief, and fear, for example), and they may also be the source of a great deal of pain and frustration in your life—for instance, you may feel as if you’re stuck in a rut. It isn’t enough to simply recognize and try to transcend, or rise above, these blocks; it’s better to dissolve them so that you can experience bliss on a daily basis. Among the keys to doing this are forgiveness, patience, and acceptance. After you receive the gift of these attributes, you’ll find that the next step on the path awards you the even higher ideals of love, compassion, and royal courage. The development of these characteristics is the mark of enlightenment. New Golden Rule #4: See the Other Person As Yourself. This is the epitome of the New Golden Rules, for when you begin to see other people as yourself, you’re able to see through the misperception of separation that we usually carry around with us. We often see others as apart from ourselves, but that’s wrong: We’re all one. We also have the habit of feeling as though we’re separate from God, but that’s also a misunderstanding that began at birth. On a very subtle level, when we went through our mother’s birth canal and entered the harsh reality of life here on this planet, we felt torn away from the One who sent us to fulfill our destiny. Although we may have lost the recognition of that reality, we all carry a spark of the Divine within us. Following the New Golden Rules helps you rekindle that tiny ember and turn it into the bright and beautiful flame of infinite love. When you live this fourth rule, you once again transcend the feelings of pain, fear, and separateness brought about by simply being born. Once you see others as yourself—as a soul, just like you—your relationships will become more intimate, united, and harmonious. Beginning to see the other individual as a soul lets you then see the Divine in all. And when you’re able to recognize the Heavenly in yourself and in others, you also begin to notice a higher force in all things—from a beautiful tree to personal events that appear to be beyond your control. It may take a day or it may take ten years, but one moment, with the grace of God, you’ll have the realization that you’re there. You’ll remember who you are at the deepest level of your existence, experience the Divine love that resides within your being, and become yourself again. Excerpted from Chapter Three of the new book, The New Golden Rules, published by Hay House, April, 2005, and available at all bookstores or online at: www.hayhouse.com. |
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