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The Power Of Silent Caring By Maurie D. Pressman, M.D. How far that little candle throws its beam.... I have two patients whose lives have been destroyed by injuries. I have been treating them for long periods of time. One is a lady who has always been very efficient and very independent. She was assaulted in a robbery years ago, and her body destroyed. More than that, the terror and the memory of the prolonged time in which she was threatened over and over with being shot was buried in her mind, nor would it leave her. As a result, she has been a prisoner in her own home. I have been treating her for eight years. There is no magic to what I say to her, and very little release, other than to have her face and gradually come to tolerate the fear that had been implanted in her. She wanted her life to end, as she stated, over and over again. She repeatedly assured me that, had it not been for the psychotherapy visits, she would have killed herself in order to find release. In fact, she had a pistol to her head at one point. What is the secret of her survival in view of this? There has been very little relief of the fear that was implanted in her. Some release, but not that much. So why does she continue to come to therapy; what is the power that prevents her suicide? It is the power of love, or better said, of caring. It is the therapist’s intention, silently conveyed, which gives patient hope. It is not to be underestimated. What is it that Shakespeare said? “How far that little candle throws its beam, so shines a good deed in a weary world.” So shines the power of caring. And that’s humanity’s hope in a weary and naughty world. The other patient was injured fourteen years ago, and has been in therapy with me for six years. He is a very staunch man, always highly independent, full of integrity, very powerful, a former ironworker. A sudden accident destroyed his shoulders; making him relatively helpless. His personality, based upon his employability, has shriveled. Independence and generosity has been his hallmark. Now he is hopeless and constantly on the receiving end; his pride and sense of identity are gone. On top of all this, the insurance company has delayed his compensation payments for the full fourteen years. He is in a rage that the insurance company and our legal system can be so heartless in caring for a fellow human being. What am I my doing for him? I can’t supply him with money or restore his shoulders. But I am helping him. I’m even essential to him. This can only be my caring, my trustworthiness, my attention, my being available to his calls at all times that have sustained him. He would have driven himself off a bridge long ago, were it not for the psychotherapy. What is the power of this silent caring that is so powerful in healing? Some new and very intriguing information comes from physics to validate this power of hope. Professor William Tiller has shown, with immaculately prepared scientific data, that the intention of four meditators is powerful enough to change the chemical quality of water. This is a commanding result. They were able to raise the pH of water one full degree. Very significant! Not only that, but after the meditators left the room, the experimenters brought another vial of water into the room. The same change occurred without the meditators. A strange and remarkable result! But the answer is that it was the very intention of the meditators, which changed the pH of water, indeed, changed the very atmosphere of the room. So it is that our intentions, good or bad, create an environment which holds the power of our minds and hearts. And if we can infuse our environment, our world, with the power of the intention of caring, of the power of mutual assistance, of mutual goodness, we will have created the very ascension of humanity, toward the next race of men and women.
Maurie D. Pressman, M.D. |
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