One day a couple of years ago, I realized that my God was a slot machine sort of God. Although correct behavior increased the odds of getting what I wanted, the payoffs seemed rather random. I was startled at my discovery. Although I accepted the idea that reality tailors itself to thoughts and desires, I really just expected that it did so only some of the time.

Lots of years ago, I had another earth shattering realization while trying to quit smoking cigarettes. After a year of futile attempts and the ribbing of my smoking friends who said I didn’t so much want to stop smoking as to stop buying them, I realized that quitting meant I wasn’t going to do it anymore. Image that. Quitting smoking meant I wasn’t going to smoke anymore. I know it must sound really silly, but that’s how it was. After that, I easily quit in one day and have not had one since.

There have been times in my life when I wanted something I thought it would be too difficult to attain. It might have been a new car, to redo a room in our house, or just to do something interesting. For a fairly long period of time I’d be aching for change while knowing it wasn’t likely to happen. Then conditions would somehow shift and the change just happened. No real muss or fuss. I’d be startled to find myself driving a new car, or sitting in a new living room, or going on a great vacation with very little effort.

Why, just pull the handle and three cherries later God suddenly grants my wish.

Most of us readily buy that our thoughts create our reality. We wonder at the gap between what we want and the way it is, but we’ve had enough success to trust that the system works. We look wistfully at those people who just seem to get what they want, and we work harder at keeping our thoughts positive. But why is it so difficult to lose weight, or to save money, or get that interesting job?

For me it’s because there’s often two thoughts at work. If I declare my desire for a new car, a small voice in my head asks if I can afford it or tells me I really don’t need one. When I decide to begin exercising regularly, that same little voice tells me it’s OK to skip a day because I’m so tired, or that today is just too busy. How on earth can I have what I want if I want two mutually exclusive things? How can change happen if I want to step out and stay put at the same time?

You might be hoping that I’ll tell you how to make it easier. Wish I could. But I’ll say this: if you’re having trouble getting something to happen, take a look at what you’re asking for. Are you sabotaging your efforts by wanting two different things at the same time? Are you craving change while quietly wanting to stay the same? The laws of the universe are not willy-nilly. It is not necessary to get a lucky combination of things going before you get what you want, but it is vital to know clearly what it is you’re asking for.