Relationship Mythology—An Endless Barrage of True Love Symbols

By Lawrence Lanoff

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The key here is to understand what is going on inside of you.

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When it comes to sex and relationships, the drunken monkey* is running the show. Some of the strongest, most tenacious myths people have are about love and relationships. From the beginning, we are bombarded with stories, symbols, and images of true love, soul mates, and finally finding our missing piece. From movies to fairy tales, from prince charming to mermaids—myths of true love rule our psyche. People are on endless quests to find their other half in this life. Marriage and partnership have been held up as the noblest, most challenging path of transformation. Relationship is considered a fulfillment of life purpose and meaning—the highest act of submission to the divine.

     However, for most people, the reality of this path is quite the opposite. They find that the person who once completed them now causes pain, constriction, and suffering. Oftentimes people stay in relationships they have outgrown because they feel obligated, or are bound by religious mythology to stick it out—till death do us part. As one friend of mine said, “Well, I bought the farm on this one.”

     Essentially, relationship has to do with long-term healthcare, the sharing of resources, and ensuring the survival of progeny. To understand the societal purpose of marriage, all you have to do is look at divorce court. The end of marriage always deals with the splitting of resources—who gets what, and who gets the kids. Therein lies the purpose of myths. If you agree to marry someone, you agree to take care of them, and your children for the rest of your life—thereby eliminating the societal burden to care for you or your loved ones. Until death do you part means you agree to feed, clothe, and support this person until one or both of you dies.

     Relationship has nothing to do with love. Love is akin to cocaine. It has the same high and drives you crazy. Love is about the free flow of chemicals in the brain that impair your judgment so that eventually, you take enough risks to end up with a new soul being born. Love is a chemical high—period. Love feels great, and I highly recommend it. However, any stories that you tell yourself about love are myths. Chemicals are chemicals—nothing more, nothing less. You can tell yourself all kinds of stories, but they are not the truth.

     Relationships are no higher or lower a path than anything else. Relationships are what they are, and if you want to share resources and have children, marriage is an excellent ritual and system. Unfortunately, such a practical view is not how the drunken monkey sees it. The drunken monkey prefers myths about seeking true love, completion—deep fulfillment and oneness—to any kind of clarity. The key here is to understand what is going on inside of you—this deep desire to merge actually exists in energetic reality, not three-dimensional reality. You want to feel infinite love from someone, and you are fine with this myth; that is, until the “from someone” part.

     An external person will never give you what you long for and desire in energetic reality, in thought. It is simply not possible. Sure, an external person will take care of some superficial need for a while, but they will never access the deepest, energetic longing parts within you, because they can’t. The drunken monkey mind constantly confuses two different systems of reality—energetic and three-dimensional—causing you confusion and pain.

     One reality is three-dimensional external, physical reality, and the other reality is inside your head, your feeling world, energetic reality. If you want deep un-ending love, then give that to yourself right now, energetically, symbolically, in any way that you desire to experience it. Merging with the Divine, and feeling oneness and love is about you giving yourself what you want now—in energetic reality. Go directly to the symbol that’s in your head—the one that you are looking at when we discuss your true love. Look at it closely. That person in your head is in your head; however, you are projecting that person onto the outside world.

     The drunken monkey is simply confused. The person in your head doesn’t exist in the real world. You are letting the drunken monkey steer your car. So, if you want to do something radical, and snap out of your deep sleep state, then go directly to the symbol right now, and receive the true love that you so want, desire, and deserve. Get into the habit of giving yourself, energetically, exactly what you want the moment that the thought or feeling appears.

     Learn to flow and connect to the symbols in your head. Like all good symbols, they store energy that is just waiting to be released and make you feel awesome. Release that energy right now, and let it flow through and heal your body, mind, and spirit so that you can feel deeply relaxed and connected to the infinite—energetically.

     There is no one or nothing out there that can save you, heal you, or make you finally whole. There is the flow of chemicals, and a temporary delusion. Eventually, one or the other will wear off, and you will be left seeing the person, the human being before you. The brutal truth is that love is about losing your rational mind so that you bond, share resources, and have kids. Of course, not all love includes kids—but love does bind humans together. From a social biological perspective, love serves to create strong ties between individuals, families, and groups. Those with strong ties are more likely to thrive and survive together—to build community and social order—and ensure the survival of their progeny.

     I hate to break the bad news, but when it comes to relationships, the drunken monkey runs the show. The monkey is loose. Contrary to what the drunken monkey believes, love is chemicals—drugs—temporarily flowing through your body, making you crazy. If you want eternal love, God’s love, human love, give that to yourself now by releasing the energy of the symbols in your head, and letting that energy flow through your life and body—energetically—because that is all it is anyway. You may as well give it to yourself freely, and have fun doing it.

*Lanoff’s “drunken monkey” is a metaphor that represents the drive of self-defense, which resides in the unconscious parts of the brain. It is a “monkey” because it processes information symbolically, in a language that cannot be understood. It is “drunk” because it overreacts to almost everything, in an insane manner.

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Lawrence Lanoff, Ph.D., is the author of A Course in Freedom: The Drunken Monkey Speaks (Soul Light Publishing, $29.95, Paperback). For more information, email Masaru Kato at info@atmanwellbeing.com.

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