Some of our political leaders, media stars, and religious big shots spout an ever more intolerant message these days. They speak against gays, sex outside of marriage, and drug use. They point to children born out of wedlock, divorce, birth control, and abortion as ills in our society that must be remedied. They mock those who practice tolerance as being weak and misguided. There is a subtle but growing attitude that is anti-woman, anti-intellectual, anti-poor, and anti-immigrant.

The question I have about the intolerant is how they reached adulthood without having accumulated some measure of compassion. They live in the same world as the rest of us; how have they remained untouched by the experiences of others? If they and those they love have been spared all of the harsher experiences of life, do they really think it’s been due to their moral stance and individual effort alone?

If we were to take an honest look at our lives, we’d see that we can’t take all the credit for where we are and what we’ve attained. We had no control over our sex, race, or nationality. We had nothing to do with the level of affluence we were born into. If we had adults in our lives who nurtured our bodies as well as our spirits, the credit had everything to do with them and little to do with us. Our society freed most of us from concerns about clean water, food, housing, and healthcare, and allowed us to concentrate on going to school. That a job would be there when we wanted it was usually a given. Largely, we did what we did and got where we got because the flow of our lives took us there.

That’s why it’s so hard for me to listen to the intolerant messages we’re regularly subjected to. So much about us is just luck.

For instance, whether you’re gay or straight is likely a matter of genetics. Any heterosexual who feels their orientation is superior should take some time to envision what their experience would have been should the cosmic lottery have rendered them gay. Having really thought it through, would they be so eager to deny rights or even more vital, deny expression to anyone?

It’s really easy to look at a drug user or alcoholic and feel superior. But there’s no virtue in not being an addict, it’s just the luck of the draw that some of us have better brain chemistry than others. Would we have done as well as we have if we’d had addictions to contend with?

We’ve all done things we’re not proud of. We’ve driven drunk, or slept with someone we shouldn’t have, or perhaps taken something that didn’t belong to us. In heedless moments, we’ve all made poor choices. Most of them have come to nothing, but they could have set off a series of life altering events that took us to places we never thought we’d go. It’s just chance. We ought to be grateful that we seldom reap the repercussions of our bad choices and treat others gently when they’re not so lucky.