I watch a little conservative TV and listen to rightwing radio sometimes. I find myself listening to Catholic radio as well. I do it partly to balance out the more liberal message I get from Air America and Keith Olbermann, but also because I just can’t believe what I hear coming from them. Much has been made of Christian fundamentalism, but I’m regularly amazed at how hard core some segments of Catholicism have become as well. And whether authentic or not, many of our Republican politicians and commentators, informed by their religious traditions or not, promote the views of these groups.

     While sometimes they amuse me, and other times they anger me, the thing I just can’t abide is their labeling anyone who’s not one of them as cultivating or participating in the “culture of death.” I Googled  this term a bit ago and got 67,600,000 hits. They talk about it a lot. Their culture of death is one that allows among other things, abortion, cloning, and euthanasia.

     While I think it’s odd that those who think they advocate for a culture of life are also largely in favor of the death penalty, and that many of those against abortion are not eager to make the lives of those they save more livable is also curious, I will talk here about what they label euthanasia. This is an inflammatory term for a cruel stance. What they usually refer to is removing nourishment and fluids, usually delivered by means of a feeding tube, from a patient at the end of life who will never recover, allowing them to die. This segment of our society feels that life must be preserved at all cost, that we cannot judge the quality of another’s life, and that is sinful to play God by ending a person’s natural life. The way I look at it, God has already called them home. We have intervened medically, saving life after catastrophic illness or accident. When it works, it’s great, but sometimes it doesn’t and we need to know when it’s time to let go.

     We’ve been faced with this moral dilemma for only a short time. Huge resources, financial and other, must be available to keep someone alive when they are no longer functional. Societies closer to the edge of survival don’t have this option. Although we’ve been attempting to feed those who cannot feed themselves since ancient Greek and Egyptian times, it wasn’t until the invention of an easily inserted feeding tube in 1979 that extending many lives for long periods of time was even possible. Just prior to that, we had the technology, but surgery was required, and feeding tubes were only inserted in those expected to recover. They were used overwhelmingly in the relatively young. Today, most of them are used for older patients at the end of their lives. More than a third of nursing home patients with dementia have feeding tubes, and many are sedated and restrained to keep them from pulling their tubes out. This troubles some, including Dr. Michael Gauderer, one of the inventors of the feeding tube. “I've followed very closely where it's gone,” he says. “It has gone too far.”

     I’ve had some personal experience with this. My mom died three years ago after a massive stroke. When it was clear that she would not recover, she’d had a second stroke and several medical incidents, we as a family decided it was time to let her go. Her feeding tube was disconnected, antibiotics were withdrawn, and painkillers were administered. Although made unanimously, it wasn’t a decision my family made easily or selfishly. It was a time of great pain, but also one of many blessings. The doctors, chaplains, and nurses were all wonderful, and we found, especially as we eventually spent time with her around the clock, a strength in ourselves and each other that we had never had reason to see before. Yes, it was a hard decision, one I was not a hundred percent comfortable with. But when I asked myself what I would want for myself, I felt reassured.

     There were priests and ministers around as we went through this process. Not one of them questioned our decision or seemed in any way to not support us. Our entire experience had a certain feeling of grace about it. We were fortunate. A year later this issue would explode in the national press and in the halls of our government. Families facing this same circumstance had to endure not only their own private pain, but the irrational accusation of murdering their loved ones, as well. These accusations were made by those so sure they represent God’s will in this hugely personal issue, with an implication that these actions were taken simply because families didn’t want to be inconvenienced with their loved one any longer.

     Through living wills we have some say about conditions at the end of our lives. While I personally am comfortable with the choice of not delaying death, I wouldn’t impose it on others. I understand that some would prefer to stay alive at all costs and am fine with that. I am not fine with one segment of society forcing their views on the rest of us, and doing it in such an insulting and ugly way.