|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
The IRS By Echo Bodine I was a nervous wreck in the days leading up to the audit You might be surprised to find a chapter on the Internal Revenue Service in a book about spiritual growth. But it’s through our challenges that most of us grow spiritually—and I think we’d all agree that the IRS often presents a challenge.
Being self-employed is great in many ways. I can stay in my pajamas all day and do a lot of my work from home. I can take two hours for lunch and not worry about a cranky boss looking over my shoulder. If I want to make personal phone calls, I can. If I need a break from the world, I can walk away from the phones and go out in my garden. Being self-employed also has its challenges. The area that’s been most challenging for me over the years is staying current on income taxes. It’s so easy to put the money back into the business or to use it for bills. There always seem to be unexpected expenses, like needing a new washing machine or a car repair. It’s easy to dip into the money that you’ve set aside for taxes when the cat needs to go to the vet or business is slow for a month and you don’t have enough money to pay the mortgage. We may intend to put the money back into the tax account ASAP but, well, life happens—and the money disappears. My tax problems started when I had four major surgeries in two years without health insurance. I was totally overwhelmed, with thousands of dollars in medical bills. Bills turned into notices from bill collectors and then from collection agencies. I got phone calls every day from people (some nice, some not so nice) wanting money. I spent so many hours berating myself for not making more money and for not being smarter with the money I did make. I felt terrible shame about not being a “responsible citizen.” As each year passed, the mess got worse. It was everything I could do to keep my head above water and the bill collectors at bay. Then letters started coming from the IRS and the State of Minnesota, reminding me that interest and penalties were piling up on my past-due tax payments. They were going to start proceedings to levy my bank accounts and put liens on my property. I ended up getting audited. I was a nervous wreck in the days leading up to the audit. Once the female auditor got to my home and I saw how nice she was, something in me started to shift. I realized she was not a monster, here to take my house away, but a woman doing her job and trying to help me get back on track. I was surprised at how much my attitude changed by the time the audit was over. I found that the State of Minnesota was a lot tougher about collecting money than the federal government. Randomly, they would go into my checking account and take out whatever money was there. And they always seemed to know when I had just deposited a significant amount. (Someone at the bank later told me they were instructed to let the State know when I had deposited a large sum.) I can’t tell you how sick to my stomach I felt every time I made a deposit and wondered if the money would be gone by the end of the day. It was awful. I hit bottom before things started to turn around. I can laugh at the experience today, but at the time there was nothing to laugh about. It was late in summer. The Minnesota State Fair was going on, and I loved going to the fair. The year before, I’d been so financially strapped I hadn’t been able to buy anything other than a few corn dogs at the fair. I vowed that I would make it up to myself the following year by tucking away a little money here and there before the fair came to town. I had managed to save $100 and was so looking forward to going. A few days before my scheduled day at the fair, I deposited a large check into my checking account, fees for a speaking engagement. I used the money to write out several doctor’s bills. I mailed out all the checks and was feeling good about keeping the bill collectors off my back for another month. This was on a Thursday, and as soon as I finished with my last client of the day, I was headed out to the fair. As I was literally walking out the door, my bank called to say that the State had just taken all the money out of my account. Not only was I completely broke, but all the checks to the doctors were going to bounce. Plus, oh yeah, there was a $30 fee for every bounced check. I walked into the kitchen, grabbed a bag of chocolate chips, stuffed a handful in my mouth, and started crying like a baby. I felt totally defeated. I had been doing the best I could, and it wasn’t working. I really didn’t think things could get any worse. Then the doorbell rang. I was crying so hard I thought about not answering it, but it rang again. With my tear-stained chocolaty face, I answered the door and found a woman holding up a badge. She introduced herself as an agent from the IRS, there to look over my finances. In one very long sentence and without taking a breath, I told her that the State of Minnesota had just levied my checking account. I was going to have several overdrafts. I was completely broke. And I wasn’t going to be able to go to the fair. Then, with tears streaming down my face, I handed her the bag of chocolate chips and asked her if she wanted any. The agent turned out to be a very nice person. She sat with me and calmed me down. We had a very good talk, and she reassured me that she would work with me to find a solution. This was a turning point for me. I knew I had to handle my finances differently — and that didn’t mean getting another credit card or trying to get a loan. It was about turning all this over to God. It was about asking God for help every time another collection letter came. It was about praying for the right words when calling the State to get the levy reversed. I was so cloaked in shame for not paying my taxes that I’d gotten stuck. I needed a different approach mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—and God was it. The IRS agent laid out a step-by-step plan for me to follow that would eventually lead me to make an Offer in Compromise. (Based on your income, they will accept a one-time settlement if you can prove for two years that you are going to stay current on your estimated taxes.) I also started praying for guidance every time I had to make any contact with the IRS or the State. I would pray for the right words when talking to them and would always ask God to let me know when the timing was perfect for making the phone call. A few times after receiving nasty, threatening letters, I made calls without checking in with my intuition. Both times I got “agents from hell.” One of them said she was only going to let me eat rice and beans until I got the bill paid up; the other one wasn’t even going to let me have that. But when I made a call at the urging of my inner voice, the person on the other end of the phone was always an angel. She or he knew that I was trying to run a business, that I wasn’t taking expensive vacations or buying luxury boats, that my car was twelve years old, and that I didn’t have assets other than my home (which they had several liens on). It was clear I wasn’t trying to con anyone. My inner voice was also clear about not running any scams. Whenever anyone suggested that I hide my money or not deposit any cash, my intuition was adamant about being honest and up-front always. When I got a call or letter that triggered my fear or shame, the toughest thing was calming myself down and focusing only on the still, small voice within. Over time, and with practice tuning in to this voice, I got to the point that I could tell which letters were computer-generated mass mailings and which ones were important to pay close attention to. It was a fascinating lesson in learning to let go of fear and in not giving up all my power. Yes, they did have the power to take away anything they wanted. But I had the power to decide what was and wasn’t important. Were my material possessions more important than my peace of mind? No. Peace of mind and good health were more important than anything I owned. I came to see that for my sanity, I had to look at this whole relationship with the IRS as a blessing rather than a curse. I had to learn as much from it as I could. As the situation continued to heal, I realized that the IRS had brought me closer to God because I was finally giving God—not the IRS—the power. Every once in a while, I’d backslide. I’d get into my humanness and try to control things. I would pray, for instance, to be shown ways to make more money. God would just continue teaching me to: • stop reacting from fear and shame • see the collectors and agents as regular human beings doing their jobs and treat them the way I wanted to be treated and not as mean, all-powerful monsters • stop giving those I owed money more power than God; God is ultimately in charge and uses my inner voice to tell me exactly how to handle situations • take responsibility, rather than blaming “them” • look to the future with the belief that all would be well, rather than wallowing in self-pity (or chocolate chips!) As I became more and more committed to doing whatever was necessary, the pieces continued to fall into place. The hard lessons weren’t over yet. I still had to learn more about letting go and trusting. The most painful experience was that I had to sell my house and give the IRS all the proceeds. But this got them off my back once and for all. The second toughest experience was that I needed to move in with my boyfriend, which was difficult for this very independent woman. An incredible amount of good came from that also. Eventually, I got all the medical bills paid up, got current on my estimated taxes for two years, and made an Offer in Compromise to the IRS that was accepted. I also became very good friends with the agent at the State of Minnesota who kept levying my account! The story had many happy endings including this one: One night about five years after I sold my house, my assistant and I were driving home from a book-signing. My inner voice told me to drive by my former house to show my assistant where I used to live. I didn’t want to get sad—I had loved that house so much—but my inner voice urged me again, so I drove by. There on the front lawn was a “For Sale” sign. My inner voice said, “Now you can have your house back.” I was so excited I barely slept a wink that night. Was it possible? Could I really buy it back? I had no money to put down, my credit rating was still healing, and yet something inside kept telling me to go for it. As soon as I woke up, I called the realtor and told her I was the former owner and wanted to buy the house back. She said the house had been on the market for over a year. No one could believe it wasn’t selling. She said the owners had tried everything. When I called, she said she knew the house was simply waiting for me. Once again, the pieces fell into place, and I was able to buy the house back. (Go to my website, www.echobodine.com, to see a picture of it.)
Excerpted from Look For the Good & You’ll Find God: The Spiritual Journey of a Psychic and Healer © 2008 by Echo Bodine. Printed with permission of New World Library, Novato, CA. For information, visit www.newworldlibrary.com or call 800-972-6657, ext. 52. Echo Bodine is the author of several other bestselling titles. She is a renowned psychic, spiritual healer, teacher, and radio host. Her website is www.echobodine.com.
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||
All content and articles copyright ©2008 by Lightworks Inc except where noted. All rights reserved.