Dear Swami:
Well, it’s holiday time again, and once again I will find myself at too many parties and family gatherings where I inevitably end up eating too much. Then it’s months and months of trying to get myself back in shape ... and pretty soon it’s next holiday season and the same thing. Any tips for getting off this vicious cycle, and getting back into shape this January?
— Dinah Bunch
Hartford, Connecticut
Dear Dinah:
I’ve often said, when you find yourself on a vicious cycle, stop peddling. So the first step in easy weight loss is, don’t put it on in the first place. That’s why I never go to any holiday gathering without my eating glasses. They magnify everything on my plate by a factor of ten, so you feel fulfilled before you get filled full. But even if you eat like a horse and end up feeling like a full filly, no problem. You’ve heard of Weight Watchers? I’ve discovered something even better—Shape Shifters. They promise to help you shift from shapeless and shiftless to ship shape without diet or exercise! What’s their secret? Photoshop. You’ll be virtually slender in no time.
Dear Swami:
Why is it that those fashionable indigenous religions get credit for everything, and the Judeo-Christian tradition so many of us grew up in gets taken for granted? I keep reading about these Native American and aboriginal rainmakers who’ve had success with recent droughts, and I’m thinking, surely our western traditions can come up with a rainmaking prayer.
— Rev. Mayhew B. Wise
Birmingham, Alabama
Dear Mayhew:
Good idea. What about “Hail Mary’s?”
Dear Swami:
A few years ago, I got hold of that wonderful book by Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now. It had a profoundly positive effect on my life, but lately I find that things seem to be speeding up so much that I’m having a harder and harder time staying in the now. Is living in the now still where it’s at, or has it, too, become a thing of the past?
— Annie Daenow
Sugarland, Texas
Dear Annie:
You’re not alone. Time has quickened so much that it’s already next week and most of us don’t know it yet. In preparation for 2012, where apparently all clocks will say, “Look! No hands!” we can already see the distinctions of past, present and future being blurred. I’ll give you an example. I just read that the Nostalgia Channel is offering re-runs of the Today Show and are calling it the Yesterday Show. Here’s how it works. If you missed the Today Show today, you can catch today’s Today tomorrow on Yesterday.
Speaking of Today—or actually yesterday’s Today—that’s where I found out that Eckhart Tolle has written a sequel to The Power of Now. It’s called the Power of Later, and he recommends living in the future and calmly waiting for everyone else to catch up. That’s what I’m doing, and I never felt better. Be there now? Been there, done that. From now on, it’s be there then. So don’t wait another second. Join me in the future now, and finally get ahead of the game.
Dear Swami:
I just heard a psychologist on the radio who claims that ninety percent of our thoughts are negative and redundant. What do you think?
— Candice B. Wright
Vista, California
Dear Candice:
No, they’re not. No they’re not.
© Copyright 2007 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights reserved. Visit Swami online at www.wakeuplaughing.com. To book Swami or buy his books and CDs, call toll free 800-SWAMI-BE. Remember, Swami’s books, CDs and DVDs help you milk the sacred cow ... without being overrun by the bull. Give the Gift of Laughter www.wakeuplaughing.com/news.html.
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