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I think one of the greatest compliments we can give another is to say, “I am a better person for having known you.” We’ve all had people in our lives we can say that about, haven’t we? People who somehow put us more in touch with our possibilities, our greatness? The first person in my life that I remember having had such an effect was my third grade teacher, Sister Maria Goretti. I was very shy and it was easy for me to blend in and not be seen. Somehow she noticed me that year and made me feel special. Toward the end of the year we were making paper daffodils with clothespins for Mother’s Day. She had me handing out supplies, and as it turned out, it was a craft I was really good at and she showed off my project. I felt talented and capable. To this day, I have warm feelings for her and for myself as that small girl. I don’t think she singled me out, I wasn’t her pet. My guess is she had the same effect on lots of kids over the years.

Some people, at least in some circumstances, have the ability and make the effort to see us as we really are. This alone is enormous. While we’re all out here with our manufactured façades, hiding what we think others won’t like, aren’t we really craving to be known? Don’t we want someone to say, yes, I see you and you are good? These people help us to see wonderful parts of ourselves that we can’t see, or they confirm the reality of them when we hope for them but doubt their existence. They not only make us feel good, they give us a better picture of ourselves, one we want to live up to.

Those I speak of are not necessarily professionals; they are not lofty teachers who studied forever, or those specially touched by God. They are us. We all, at some time or other, are able to see the truth for another. The truth is that we are immensely more talented, more capable, and more wise than we know. We see glimpses of it in others when we see how they parent, or how they lead a group, or what they’ve created, or when we listen to their thoughts over coffee. These glimpses give us an opportunity to reflect, or communicate back this greatness. We have the ability not only to make people feel better, but to give them a bigger picture of themselves and the possibility of a larger sphere of experience.

We could choose to ignore these opportunities. Being real is uncomfortable and makes us vulnerable. Who the heck are we to be acknowledging the greatness of others? But what a gift we have to offer. Through a few words, a glance, a thumbs-up, who knows, we can change for the better how someone perceives herself. Sometimes we’re in the position of being the only witness to an aspect of someone’s endless possibilities since each relationship and encounter they have with others is unique. While we don’t bestow greatness on another, we can recognize it, and the more we make an effort to see it for others, the more we’ll be able to see it for ourselves.

So it might be awkward, it might be sloppy, we might feel foolish, but next time we see that flash or glimpse in someone, let’s let them know it. Not just a passing compliment, but an eye to eye, I see you, exchange. Wouldn’t it be great if the people in our lives, and the people our lives touch, felt that they were better for having known us?